We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is often argued that we should concentrate on developing our community rather than helping other
nations
. I completely disagree with this
statement. In my point of view, benefits must be exchanged between countries.
On the one hand, Helping other countries can be useful on many levels. If the wealthy nations
begin to aid poor communities the level of migration and illegal entry will decrease. Furthermore
, Offering aid can improve political relationships and create peaceful societies. For example
, What happened to Palestine made many nations
sympathize with it and start to provide assistance to them. For
this
reason, They create organizations such
as UNHCR and UNICEF to help nations
that suffer from war , poverty and the spread of diseases in times of need.
On the other hand
, I believe that we have an obligation to help those who live overseas. In some countries, they have problems more serious than those in our societies. For instance
, children in Africa suffer from curable diseases, Hence
, They just need the medicines that already exist. Moreover
, There is no doubt that our communities should be a priority, However
, International assistance may help many nations
from bankruptcy and other problems we can solve.
In conclusion, There is a debate about whether we must assist poor people or focus on developing our community. From my perspective, I believe that for the survival of poor nations
, we must aid those who are in need in several aspects. Like, for political interests and for the greater good.Submitted by nana0072008 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure each paragraph contains one main idea with clear topic sentences followed by supporting details. Transition smoothly between ideas using appropriate linking devices. Your introduction and conclusion were present but need to be clearer and more impactful to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
While you addressed the topic and provided an overall opinion, your task response could be improved by developing multiple points of view before presenting your own. This demonstrates your ability to explore and critically analyze different perspectives. Additionally, aim to consistently elaborate on your main points by providing more detailed examples and explanations that directly support your argument.