We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is often argued that we should concentrate on developing our community rather than helping other

nations

Use synonyms

. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement. In my point of view, benefits must be exchanged between countries. On the one hand, Helping other countries can be useful on many levels. If the wealthy

nations

Use synonyms

begin to aid poor communities the level of migration and illegal entry will decrease.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Offering aid can improve political relationships and create peaceful societies.

For example

Linking Words

, What happened to Palestine made many

nations

Use synonyms

sympathize with it and start to provide assistance to them.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, They create organizations

such

Linking Words

as UNHCR and UNICEF to help

nations

Use synonyms

that suffer from war , poverty and the spread of diseases in times of need.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I believe that we have an obligation to help those who live overseas. In some countries, they have problems more serious than those in our societies.

For instance

Linking Words

, children in Africa suffer from curable diseases,

Hence

Linking Words

, They just need the medicines that already exist.

Moreover

Linking Words

, There is no doubt that our communities should be a priority,

However

Linking Words

, International assistance may help many

nations

Use synonyms

from bankruptcy and other problems we can solve. In conclusion, There is a debate about whether we must assist poor people or focus on developing our community. From my perspective, I believe that for the survival of poor

nations

Use synonyms

, we must aid those who are in need in several aspects. Like, for political interests and for the greater good.

nana0072008Fri Dec 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure each paragraph contains one main idea with clear topic sentences followed by supporting details. Transition smoothly between ideas using appropriate linking devices. Your introduction and conclusion were present but need to be clearer and more impactful to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

While you addressed the topic and provided an overall opinion, your task response could be improved by developing multiple points of view before presenting your own. This demonstrates your ability to explore and critically analyze different perspectives. Additionally, aim to consistently elaborate on your main points by providing more detailed examples and explanations that directly support your argument.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?

pick out the information that is relevant to our structure. See the model answer of a bar chart below.

The behaviors of student in class become worse to worse. What has led to this situation? What can be done to solve it

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only large companies and goverments can make a difference. What extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think history has little or nothing to offer, while others say the study of the past helps us understand the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.