IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People have to spend more and more time to travel their homes for jobs and study. What are the reasons? How can wo solve this problem?

#people #time #travel #homes #jobs #study
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Nowadays, individuals want to purchase their own
vehicles
Use synonyms
 because they like to
travel
Use synonyms
 in their personal
vehicles
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
,
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 and many more. They use these
vehicles
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 for going to jobs and other purposes and expended more
time
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 to
travel
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. I will explain the causes
as well as
Linking Words
 solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem in the
further
Linking Words
 paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the first reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem is
traffic
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.
People
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 prefer to
travel
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 in their own
vehicles
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 , so it leads
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traffic
Add the particle
to traffic
show examples
 on roads.
For instance
Linking Words
, in recent years, a number of
people
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spend
Wrong verb form
have spent
show examples
 their money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buying personal
vehicles
Use synonyms
 and
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travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 in their
vehicles
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. For that reason, day by day
traffic
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 is increasing on the roads so,
people
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 spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more
time
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
travelling
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 can
travel
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 on public
transportation
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as well as
Linking Words
 they prefer to
travel
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whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 family in their own
vehicles
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.
Thus
Linking Words
,
traffic
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 is reduced on the roads and
people
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 cannot
be expend
Change the verb form
expend
show examples
 their more
time
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to
Change the verb form
travelling
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
. Moving
further
Linking Words
 to the second cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem is the condition of public
transportation
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. In the modern era,
people
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cannot
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 like to wait for buses and trains, so they do not
travel
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 in public
transportation
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have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
 their fixed
time
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Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why
people
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 wait more to
travel
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. For that reason, everyone prefers to
travel
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 in their own
vehicles
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
be improved
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
 and increase
vehicles
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 for public
transportation
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as well as
Linking Words
 reduce the amount of
travel
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 in public
transportation
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 and
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 the amount of petrol and diesel. So,
people
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 can
travel
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 on public
transportation
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 and cannot
be spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 huge
time
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
travelling
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
people
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 use their own
vehicles
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 for
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
crucial
purpose
Change the noun form
purposes
show examples
 like going to hospitals and other personal issues.
Also
Linking Words
, the government should
be improved
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and logical flow. The introduction and conclusion are insufficient, and the main points are not well supported.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task. The ideas are somewhat relevant, but the response lacks depth and clarity. The specific examples need further development to strengthen the response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • property prices
  • commute
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • peak hours
  • centralization
  • urbanized areas
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