IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#illness
Nowadays, more people suffer from illnesses caused by
stress
.
This
essay
 will discuss some main causes of
stress
-related illnesses, including long working hours and unhealthy lifestyle.
This
essay
 will
also
 suggest solutions
such
 as maintaining a
work
-
life
 balance and doing physical exercises to tackle with
stress
. People invest more
time
 at
work
 than before, and many struggled to live in a healthy way. In order to achieve their career goal, people would allocate most of their
time
 for their jobs. Sacrifices are
also
 made for fast pace living style so that people consume fast food and less sleep at night.
For instance
, people might make use of lunch hours to accomplish
work
thus
 choosing unhealthy fast food
instead
. They
also
 sacrifice sleep while working until late hours.
As a result
, people would engage themselves into working overtime and unbalanced lifestyle which are significant factors in causing
stress
. Striking a balance between
work
 and other aspects in
life
 as well as engaging oneself in sports would help in releasing
stress
. People have to spend their
time
 with family and friends so that their emotional needs can be fulfilled; whereas physical exercises can relieve people from
stress
 by building a healthy body. If people spend quality
time
 with their loved ones, they would stay away from frustrations at
work
. Routine workouts
also
 help gaining better
sleep which
Accept comma addition
sleep, which
 leads to reduction of
stress
. The reallocation of one’s
time
 for
work
 and
life
 as well as regular exercises
help
Suggestion
helps
 coping with
stress
. To conclude, it is obvious that more people are affected by
stress
-related sickness in the modern
life
.
This
essay
 discussed how one’s excessive
time
 allocation
on
Suggestion
of
work
 and unhealthy lifestyles lead to
stress
.
This
essay
also
 suggested that regaining a balancing
life
 between
work
 and
life
 as well as regular exercises would aid in alleviating
stress
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: