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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000.

The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000.
#information #value #sources #fish
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The pie chart illustrates the three countries from where the
fishes
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fish
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 are imported to the US,
while
 the table represents the total value of these
fishes
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fish
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 in billion dollars for the years 1988,1992 and 2000.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
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Canada
 was the highest source of
fish
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the fish
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 importing country
initially
, but
eventually
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,eventually
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 the others
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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shipped more
fishes
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fish
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 to the US. In the year 1988, the total price of the
fishes
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fish
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 imported to the US accounts for 6.57 billion dollars,
while
 in 1992,
this
 has increased to approximately $2 billion than
former
Correct article usage
the former
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.
However
, in the year 2000, there was a moderate rise in the price of
the
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apply
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imported
fishes
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fish
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 reaching
to
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apply
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$10.72 dollars.
On the other hand
, in 1988, 60% of the
fishes
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fish
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 are imported from
the
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Canada
,
while
 27% and 13% of them are from other countries and
the
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China.
However
, by 1992 the import from others and
the
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China has increased by 19% and 7%, but the shipping of
fishes
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fish
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 from
the
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apply
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Canada
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased by 26%.
Finally
, in 2000, the shipping of
fishes
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fish
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 from
the
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apply
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China is 30%, others are 42% and
from
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canada
 is 28%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words fishes, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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