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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good father.

#people #idea #schools #person #parent #skills #father
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No one can deny that
schools
Use synonyms
 influence
in
Change preposition
apply
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the personality of the pupils, one of the bright ideas is that
,
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apply
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 teachers can train students to be
a
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apply
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wonderful
father
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fathers
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 or
mother
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mothers
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. In my opinion,
this
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 is a very fantastic idea and really it is out
the
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of the
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 box.
Firstly
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,
persons
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people
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 from childhood to adolescence spend much
time
Correct quantifier usage
more time
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 at
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schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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 than at home, so learning
them
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apply
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something different
than
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from
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 the academic curriculum will be attractive to them. Being a parent is not a simple thing, that's why it is important to know
the
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apply
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how to grow up a child and to deal with him/her in different situations,
this
Linking Words
 skill is well known to teachers
,
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apply
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 because it is the core of their job.
For example
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, tutors can deal with a crying child effectively, know the reason
of
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for
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 crying and
also
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, solve the problem of him/her.
In addition
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,
this
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 skill can be transferred to the student. So, why the government does not apply
this
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 as a social activity in
schools
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?.
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?
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Moreover
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, the community needs a highly skilful parent who
have
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has
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 some characteristics to be a role model to the children. Being a father or a mother, you have to
flexible
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be flexible
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 in treating a special problem for a child, but more assertive with the youths because it is a dangerous stage and they may harm themselves. For
instant
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instance
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, if parents discover that their teenage son addicted
alcohol
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to alcohol
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, they must treat him immediately. Because
,
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apply
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 he may suffer from liver problems in the future. To summarize, to be a parent is not only a talent, but it is a skill
Correct word choice
that
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and
Correct word choice
that
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 can be learned, particularly in
schools
Use synonyms
 where the students spend most of their time.
Submitted by pavly96 on

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task response
In the introduction, clearly state your position on whether schools should teach young people how to be good parents.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected to the previous one to improve overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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