Some people think secondary school students should study international new as one of their subjects, while others believe this is a waste of valuable school time. To what extent do you agree or disagree,

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Secondary
schools
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teach international
news
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as one of their
subjects
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.
Although
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it can improve
pupils
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' problem-solving and analytical thinking skills, I believe that people should learn other
subjects
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instead
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,
such
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as math, English, history, and so on.
Pupils
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in secondary
schools
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should learn international
news
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at school. It would be a great opportunity to increase
pupils
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'
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
and analytical thinking skills. Because they could learn about other
countries
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countries'
country's
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policies, societies, economies, military, laws, and commercial work,
as well as
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news
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.
For instance
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, following international
news
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allows
pupils
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to analyze political situations by comparing foreign countries to their own
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Thus
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, it may be beneficial for secondary school students to study international
news
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as a
subject
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.
On the other hand
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, it has some disadvantages too. Studying math, computer programming, and foreign languages is essential for
pupils
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instead
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of learning international
news
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in secondary school.
This
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subject
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may be required in their future career.
Moreover
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, analyzing international
news
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requires a lot of time. It could affect learning other
subjects
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.
For example
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, when international
news
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was tough at secondary
schools
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,
declining
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the scores of the other
subjects
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to 10%
was experienced
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apply
show examples
in Singapur in 2010.
Therefore
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, international
news
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is not necessary to be taught in
schools
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as a
subject
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, studying foreign
news
Use synonyms
can improve
pupils
Use synonyms
' analytical thinking and problem-solving skills.
However
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, children should learn other important
subjects
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instead
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of those in secondary
schools
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, like math, history, foreign languages, and science. From my perspective, international
news
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is unnecessary as a
subject
Use synonyms
and learning
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is just
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that all paragraphs are well-linked with appropriate transition words to smoothly guide the reader from one idea to another. For example, using phrases like 'on the contrary' or 'alternatively' can better connect opposing views.
task achievement
While you provided some examples, they could be more specific and detailed. Incorporating data or studies can strengthen your arguments. Remember to explain how these examples explicitly support your point.
task achievement
Expand more on the counterarguments to demonstrate a balanced view. Addressing opposing perspectives in greater detail will make your essay more comprehensive and nuanced.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
The main points in your essay are supported with some examples, which helps illustrate your arguments.
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