Some people think secondary school students should study international new as one of their subjects, while others believe this is a waste of valuable school time. To what extent do you agree or disagree,

Secondary
schools
teach international
news
as one of their
subjects
.
Although
it can improve
pupils
' problem-solving and analytical thinking skills, I believe that people should learn other
subjects
instead
,
such
as math, English, history, and so on.
Pupils
in secondary
schools
should learn international
news
at school. It would be a great opportunity to increase
pupils
'
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
and analytical thinking skills. Because they could learn about other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
policies, societies, economies, military, laws, and commercial work,
as well as
news
.
For instance
, following international
news
allows
pupils
to analyze political situations by comparing foreign countries to their own
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Thus
, it may be beneficial for secondary school students to study international
news
as a
subject
.
On the other hand
, it has some disadvantages too. Studying math, computer programming, and foreign languages is essential for
pupils
instead
of learning international
news
in secondary school.
This
subject
may be required in their future career.
Moreover
, analyzing international
news
requires a lot of time. It could affect learning other
subjects
.
For example
, when international
news
was tough at secondary
schools
,
declining
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the scores of the other
subjects
to 10%
was experienced
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in Singapur in 2010.
Therefore
, international
news
is not necessary to be taught in
schools
as a
subject
. In conclusion, studying foreign
news
can improve
pupils
' analytical thinking and problem-solving skills.
However
, children should learn other important
subjects
instead
of those in secondary
schools
, like math, history, foreign languages, and science. From my perspective, international
news
is unnecessary as a
subject
and learning
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is just
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that all paragraphs are well-linked with appropriate transition words to smoothly guide the reader from one idea to another. For example, using phrases like 'on the contrary' or 'alternatively' can better connect opposing views.
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While you provided some examples, they could be more specific and detailed. Incorporating data or studies can strengthen your arguments. Remember to explain how these examples explicitly support your point.
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Expand more on the counterarguments to demonstrate a balanced view. Addressing opposing perspectives in greater detail will make your essay more comprehensive and nuanced.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
The main points in your essay are supported with some examples, which helps illustrate your arguments.

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