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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #states #time #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates how elderly people in the United States spent their free
time
 between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
, an upward trend was experienced by watching tv, hiking, reading and surfing the internet,
while
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
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 showed a downward trend. Almost most of the
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 had some fluctuations except for hiking. In 1980,
popularity
Add an article
the popularity
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 of reading was slowly growing from 30% to 40% but from
1990s
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the 1990s
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 it went down even lower than it was before, anyway it became trendy again with its rapid jump in
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
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. Hiking was slowly and steadily gaining
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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popularity
 from 1980 being popular among 20% only to 2010s when it became the most popular way of spending free
time
. Theatre was the only activity losing its
popularity
 in 1980 but still it started gaining it again from
1990s
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the 1990s
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 to
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
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 and slowly
moving
Wrong verb form
moved
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 up after. TV was always
on
Change preposition
in
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 one of the highest positions, nearly 60% of people in
1980s
Correct article usage
the 1980s
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 spent their spare
time
 watching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV and it reached 70% two decades later. But its
popularity
 dropped and is slowly moving down since the internet became trendy in
2000s
Change the article
the 2000s
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. Having lower than 10%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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popularity
 among
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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 till
2000s
Change the article
the 2000s
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 the level of people preferring
this
 way of spending their free
time
 rapidly increased in
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
 and is trending to move higher so it pretends to have one of the highest or even the highest rank among all activities listed before.
Submitted by shivanigowda123ks on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, popularity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapid" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 4 times.
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