IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Individuals should not be allowed to carry guns as it increases crime and violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #guns #increases #crime #violence #society
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Undoubtedly,
although
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 guns are used for
one
Use synonyms
's security, there are high chances that it can be exploited in certain ways.
This
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 essay will discuss both the positive, and the negative sides of a common man possessing a
gun
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, and given reasons why I believe civilians should be prohibited to use
such
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weapon
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.
To begin
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 with,
one
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 significant reason for
gun
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 possession is protection of oneself from crimes.
For example
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, women, when alone, are
mostly
Suggestion
most
 vulnerable to theft, molestation or even rape. It is likely that women carrying a
weapon
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 with them would deter the perpetrator from executing
such
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crime
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.
This
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 is important because
crime
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 against women are increasing
everyday
Suggestion
every day
.
Conversely
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, if permitted to carry a
gun
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, there is a possibility that females might use it to take revenge for personal matters.
This
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 will lead to illegal harming and killings of people in the society. Considering the drawbacks of arms possession by a common man,
one
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 of the demerits is the limitation for
gun
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 laws.
Although
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 every
such
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weapon
Use synonyms
 is registered and concerned authority has the record of the
gun
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, as well as the bullets carried by the individuals, often the
gun
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 is not used to fire someone, but it is used to threat the victim.
This
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 means that the police will struggle to track the person who committed the
crime
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.
Additionally
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, if
this
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weapon
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 is not kept in a secured place, it might land
into
Suggestion
in
 the wrong hands.
For example
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, it has been reported that recently a child in the United States, brought his father's
gun
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 in the school, and mistakenly shot at
one
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 of the classmate. In conclusion, despite the aforementioned reasons of security a
gun
Use synonyms
 brings along with it, there is
high risk
Suggestion
a high risk
 of its misuse in the form of revenge and landing in
wrong hands
Suggestion
the wrong hands
,
Accept space
,
 which increases the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate and violence in the society.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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