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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #four #materials #country #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of four different
materials
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, which are
paper
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 and
cardboards
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cardboard
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, glass containers, Aluminum
cans
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 and plastics, that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a specific country.
Overall
Linking Words
, the recycling of
paper
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 and
cardboards
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cardboard
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 has the highest
percentage
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 of the four
materials
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, followed by glass containers.
However
Linking Words
, there is a noticeable drop in 1988 both of them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, plastics
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the least material that was recycled between 1982 and 2010, followed by Aluminum
cans
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, which may suggest that recycling these
materials
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 is the hardest and the most complicated. The recycling of
paper
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 and
cardboards
Fix the agreement mistake
cardboard
show examples
 made up
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65% of the
overall
Linking Words
 recycling products,
Moreover
Linking Words
, it reached its maximum of 80% in 1992,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 though it dropped again to reach 70% in 2008, it still holds the highest
percentage
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 of the four
materials
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. Glass containers hold the
second
Linking Words
 place with approximately 50% in 1982.
While
Linking Words
 both
paper
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 and Almunium
cans
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 had a
percentage
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 of almost 0% in 1986, the proportion of Aluminum
cans
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 increased consistently to reach 55% in 2008. Meanwhile, the
percentage
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 of recycled
paper
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 increased slightly to reach only 10% in 2008.
Submitted by ewaida.alaa on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, materials, paper, cans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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