Most modern family have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problem can this cause?

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this

Linking Words

contemporary world,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gender

difference

Fix the agreement mistake

differences

show examples

Wrong verb form

have been

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contracting tremendously in recent years. Many latest family

includes

Correct subject-verb agreement

include

show examples

both senior

ones

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involved in professional sectors,

due to

Linking Words

which they obtain less period to spend with their

children

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This

Linking Words

essay will highlight a major foundation

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apply

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and a repercussion caused by

this

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situation.

To begin

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with, nowadays money is an essential factor for most humans, and to receive high wages, they work extra hours with less leisure time to spend with the family and

children

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. The status of an individual is determined by his bank balance and

the

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apply

show examples

properties, provided that most people work strenuously to earn

the

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apply

show examples

money to enhance their value in

the

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apply

show examples

society, but are unavailable for their own

children

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. To illustrate, a survey taken recently by the Nepal

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Children

Change noun form

Children's

show examples

Society stated that 39% of the younger

ones

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suffer from depression or other mental illness,

due to

Linking Words

a workaholic parent.

Therefore

Linking Words

, allocating time for the minor

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is extremely significant for any parent, and they must have a balanced personal and professional life

otherwise

Linking Words

the impact will be massive.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, without

Remove the article

apply

show examples

supervision and

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apply

show examples

guidance from the

elder

Replace the word

elderly

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ones

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, a child has a high potential to

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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bad companies

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apply

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and inculcate a harmful habit. The minor

ones

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are very innocent

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apply

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and are unable to acknowledge what is right or wrong for them, so

such

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phase

Correct article usage

a phase

show examples

is extremely crucial, and every parent must guide their child to lead

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right path, and have a successful life.

For instance

Linking Words

, the Malaysian

Children

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Rights Authority stated that 46% of the

children

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are engaged in drug abuse or criminal activities

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apply

show examples

because the parents are always busy with work or other events.

Thus

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

issues must be prevented beforehand, which might have harsh consequences later on. In conclusion,

the

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apply

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parents must have the capability to balance their personal,

as well as

Linking Words

professional life and should constantly guide and supervise their

children

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. A child is the future of the family, so good values and habits are extremely crucial.

ieltswriting19Wed Dec 11 2019

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coherence cohesion

Ensure topic sentences are clearly linked to the main question at the start of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen logical flow between points, ensuring smooth transitions with linking words.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or data to further substantiate key points, thus enhancing task achievement.

task achievement

Avoid repetition by using diverse vocabulary when discussing similar ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively sets the context and outlines the main areas to be discussed.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the task by discussing the reasons and problems effectively.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as the survey from the Nepal Children Society, strengthen the argument.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Most modern family have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problem can this cause?

More and more people are shifting to a plant-based diet. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that free social service should be made compulsory for high school students .do you agree or disagree

Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?/

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?