IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this?

#area #‘curfew’ #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
Teenagers are the
fututre
the time yet to come
future
 citizens
for
Suggestion
of
in
 any country. US has
restrcitions
a principle that limits the extent of something
restrictions
 on movement of teenagers in some areas. They are not allowed outdoors without an accompanying adult after a particular time in the night. In my
opinion
Accept comma addition
opinion, this
this
 practice is very unlawful and it amounts to stifling of basic human rights in the country, in
this
 essay, I would
elobrate
marked by complexity and richness of detail
elaborate
elaborated
 on the same.
Free
Suggestion
Freedom
 movement and free speech are the basic rights bestowed on the citizens by the government. A person irrespective of age, caste, gender is free to move until and unless he is not a criminal. Targeting teenagers and imposing
curvew
the trace of a point whose direction of motion changes
curve
curve w
curfew
 on them, would mount to discrimination and it goes against the basic tenets to human rights. There could be emergencies, a person might be returning from work or study and restricting them would mean discrimination. Teenagers are not small children to have adult supervision at all times.
On the other hand
, there may be few instances which warrant certain restrictions, like in case of any rioting or widespread outrage and protests. In these special situations movement of teenagers can be restricted for a temporary amount of time to control the situation and bring it back to normal. Recently in India there were massive protests by teenagers regarding rise fees, the government
then
 ordered a curfew for
few weeks
Suggestion
a few weeks
, to control widespread protests. Once the issue subsided,
government
Suggestion
the government
 lifted the curfew on them. In conclusion, a person irrespective of age, gender and religion is free to move anytime and can’t
restricted
Suggestion
restrict
,
expect
take exception to
except
 for in
few cases
Suggestion
a few cases
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: