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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Wearing fashionable clothes is becoming increasingly common these days. Is this a positive or negative development?

#clothes #development
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Nowadays, it has become increasingly common for
people
, especially the young generation, to show their identity through fashionable clothes. In my opinion, I believe that
this
 latest trend has several negative consequences. One serious problem that can arise from
this
 phenomenon is the proliferation of fast-
fashion
 industries, which have deleterious effects on the environment.
Fashion
 is not something
that is
 immutable, and it changes from time to time.
Therefore
, many business players, who participate in the
fashion
 industry, try to catch up with the latest mode. They have a tendency to push for mass production to meet the demand from society and maximize their revenue.
Consequently
, the apparel that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 already outdated will only turn into waste. Another issue related to
this
 trend is the exploitation of labourers. Still correlated with the aforementioned problem, many industries want to gain as much profit as possible.
Therefore
, they often use strategies to hire cheap labourers to cut down production costs.
This
 would be a harmful action since they dehumanize
people
 for the sake of money.
For example
, there are several well-known fast
fashion
 brands that hire workers from Bangladesh and pay them a very minimum wage.
Finally
, trendy clothing is often associated with luxury and expensive brands, causing a bad stigma for
people
 who do not keep up with high-end brands.
This
 case often happens among the young generation, particularly
due to
 their level of maturity.
For example
, there are several bullying cases in schools caused by
this
 culture. If the students do not wear modish attire, they will find it hard to adapt and socialize because
people
 often look down on them. In conclusion,
although
 it has become more popular for
people
 to wear contemporary
fashion
, it has brought about too many problems for
this
 to be considered a positive trend.
Submitted by floriehendr on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically and fully. Make sure ideas are not only presented but are also explored and analyzed sufficiently.
coherence cohesion
Work on the clear progression of ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately but also ensure that paragraphs are logically ordered and that cohesion does not obscure meaning.
task achievement
It's important to address all parts of the task. This includes presenting a clear opinion and fully developing an argument to support that opinion. Avoid repeating points.
task achievement
When constructing arguments, be sure to include clear and comprehensive ideas. Aim for depth in your discussion of concepts and a clear progression from identifying issues to analyzing and evaluating them.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support points made. They should be detailed and directly linked to the argument being made, illustrating the point fully.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fashionable clothing
  • Trendsetting
  • Self-expression
  • Artistic sense
  • Cultural diversity
  • Economic contributor
  • Retail economy
  • Social bonding
  • Consumerism
  • Sustainable fashion
  • Environmental impact
  • Social conformity
  • Mental well-being
  • Fast fashion
  • Ethical manufacturing
What to do next:
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