IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

One of the consequences of improved technology is that many jobs that used to be done by people can now be complete by robots or computers. Do you think the advantages of this development outweighs the disadvantages?

#consequences #technology #jobs #people #robots #computers #development
Due to the increasing advancement in technology, jobs doing by people will replace
by
Suggestion
with
 robots or computers soon.
Although
this
 initiative has advantages like machines will be more accurate and less time-consuming. Still, in my opinion, the disadvantages are more worrisome because many people will lose their jobs, and devices are more prone to get down. On the one hand, many people believe that computer replacement over humans is more beneficial. They think that robots will do all the work single-handedly with the utmost precision. That will reduce the need for the workforce, and businesses do not have to hire many people.
For example
, these days, doctors are considering robots to operate complicated surgical procedures where the optimal precision required, like brain surgeries.
However
, I disagree with
this
 view because robots are the machine and when it can down in the middle of the operation that will lead to a drastic situation which can be challenging to handle.
On the other hand
, in my opinion, machines cannot replace human efforts. If
this
 happens
many, people will
Suggestion
, many people will
 lose their jobs, which will increase the rate of unemployment in the society.
As a result
, the economy of the nation will be dramatically affected.
For example
, In Canada, the number of financial institutions
are replacing
Suggestion
is replacing
 bank teller with the banking machine;
therefore
, many unfortunate, people lost their jobs in the
last
 few years.
Furthermore
, I believe that computers can stop working without any intimation that will create a challenging situation and may take some time to reboot.
For instance
, in recent years, the most common reason for plane crashes are the computer system went down suddenly. To conclude,
although
 computers have many benefits, it shouldn't be replaced over a human because people will lose their jobs, and equipment can stop working without a prior warning.
Submitted by drrsali110 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: