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Writing Samples
Band 6

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings?

Nowadays, there is a debate discussion about whether a city should maintain its outdated, historical constructions or demolish them and erect new, modern ones in their place.
This
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 essay will argue why in my opinion the old
buildings
Use synonyms
 must be preserved on the condition that the expenses to maintain them are
a little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 and they are places of great importance. First of all, some antiquated
buildings
Use synonyms
 are part of a city’s culture and history, connected inseparably with civilization.
For example
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, plenty of them operated as schools, arsenals, or assembly rooms, and in today’s era, they have transformed into museums and exhibitions. They can be a source of significant knowledge for the public, especially the youth.
However
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, not all of the old constructions were used for an important reason in the past, and numerous are just dilapidated and left in disrepair.
Also
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, it costs a lot of money to preserve them, because they were built with low-quality construction materials and need repairs constantly.
On the contrary
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, those who argue that the old constructions should be replaced with modern, ones that will serve the needs of the inhabitants of an area, are realistic. Nowadays, especially in big cities, there is a massive problem called the housing crisis. People who cannot afford a private residency, live in small rooms and cramped places, in ramshackle residences and dorms. The government should invest in replacing the old
buildings
Use synonyms
 and constructing new, ones with basic facilities and commodities, that will help the citizens stop living destitute. Maintaining historical properties which are in bad condition costs a lot more than building necessary accommodations for society. In conclusion, as I illustrated with my arguments above preserving some historic
buildings
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 may benefit society,
although
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 their conservation is costly. The primary goal of the government of a city should be to
secure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 that the citizens own a residence. So, if it is necessary to demolish old
buildings
Use synonyms
 to provide people with the houses they need,
then
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 that should happen.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction could be clearer by directly stating your position in a more straightforward manner. Consider rephrasing 'the old buildings must be preserved on the condition that the expenses to maintain them are a little' to make it more concise and explicit.
Task Achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the merits of both sides more thoroughly before presenting your own opinion. This will strengthen your argument and improve the complexity of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Although you provide some examples, they could be more specific and detailed to enhance the validity of your arguments. Instead of saying 'some antiquated buildings are part of a city’s culture,' you could discuss specific buildings or cities to illustrate your point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear opinion and structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that helps the reader follow your line of reasoning.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples illustrating the importance of historic buildings and the housing crisis, showing your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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