IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Levels of young crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#levels #crime #cities #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The world large cities are experiencing a dramatic surge of offensive crimes committed mainly by young people.I believe, that there are certain reasons behind that.The growing number of unemployment, lack of education and the availability of addictive drugs, all lie behind these gloomy figures.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, The economical situation of the world is swinging between an uprise and downside curve. And with frequent hits to business, the percentage of unemployed persons rises up resulted in jobless youth generation sitting in the streets representing an easy pray recruited by sideways gangs to commit an offensive unlawful act. An example of that, what happened after 2008 in the United States markets with financial recession that involves all the different sectors of US economy. Unsurprisingly, the climbing rates of killing, robbing and hand lifting were high.
In addition
Linking Words
, the lack of education plays an important role in promoting
such
Linking Words
 felonies. The constant rise, of students leaving their schools, looking for jobs to support their poor families, is a noticeable factor that helps gangsters to put them under their wings.
Lastly
Linking Words
 but not the least, the availability of addictive drugs which represent a safe haven for those kids to escape the bitterness of real life situation. These drugs detach their minds from reality which at the end they, unconsciously, murder innocent personals and do other sins that terrorise the community. I think that, it is the responsibility of the government to tackle and eradicate the causative seeds for
such
Linking Words
 growing insecurities among the society of metropolitan cities. We need to provide the markets with a constant flow of work positions and focus on the importance of school attendance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, fighting drug dealers with police being available everywhere in the walkways of slum regions. In conclusion, to decrease the number of victims in an urban society, we need to boost our economy, fight illiteracy and eliminate addiction from the community.
Submitted by oazijam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: