IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people believe that to be successful sportsperson, one needs to have a natural ability. Others think that hard work and practice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sportsperson #ability #work #practice
Many ones argue that the body`s shape and inborn talent are far effective aspects
for
Suggestion
of
 a
person
 to become a successful
person
 in sports-related major.
However
, some other people are in
this
 notion that the more time
one
 devote
on
Suggestion
to
 practicing the more success will be occurred. Both views will be analysed, yet in my
perpective
a way of regarding situations or topics etc.
perspective
prospective
 hard working
outweight
beat through cleverness and wit
outwit
outweigh
outweighs
 the other elements. On the
one
 hand, the body`s abilities
has played
Suggestion
have played
 a vital role in
such
 a physical
activities
Suggestion
activity
.
One
 of the
fundemental
serving as an essential component
fundamental
fundamentals
requiers
require as useful, just, or proper
requires
 of each
sports
Suggestion
sport
,
exept
take exception to
except
 some specific
one
 like chess, is
the strong
Suggestion
the strongest
 body due to the high energy
wich
interrogative pronoun, used both substantively and adjectivally, and in direct and indirect questions, to ask for, or refer to, an individual person or thing among several of a class
which
 they need. To illustrate, the crucial require of the
valliball
a game in which two teams hit an inflated ball over a high net using their hands
volleyball
 is to be a tall
person
. If
one
are
Suggestion
is
 short, the team will face difficulty
as
a result of problem
Suggestion
a result of a problem
 in
jumpping
the act of participating in an athletic competition in which you must jump
jumping
wich
interrogative pronoun, used both substantively and adjectivally, and in direct and indirect questions, to ask for, or refer to, an individual person or thing among several of a class
which
with
wish
 that
person
have had
Suggestion
has had
.
Moreover
, if an individual
can not
can not
cannot
 endure the severe situation and long term of running, they cannot
develope
make something new, such as a product or a mental or artistic creation
develop
 throughout their sport`s time, so the physical aspects can be a
cheif
most important element
chief
chef
neccesity
the condition of being essential or indispensable
necessity
 for each
athlet
a person trained to compete in sports
athlete
outlet
.
On the other hand
, striving hard to obtain a goal is important in every
subjects
Suggestion
subject
 as well as sports. Without hard
working
Suggestion
work
 even high talent
person
 cannot achieve the success
that is
becuase
for the reason that; on account of
because
 they do not devote the
saficient
of a quantity that can fulfill a need or requirement but without being abundant
sufficient
 amount of time on their practices. If ones have not the enough self-motivation on their field, they
can not
can not
cannot
 stand the injuries and damages
wich
interrogative pronoun, used both substantively and adjectivally, and in direct and indirect questions, to ask for, or refer to, an individual person or thing among several of a class
which
 will be
happened
Suggestion
happening
.
Moreover
, the lack of responsibility that causes the lack of trying
prevent
Suggestion
to prevent
 the physical abilities of each
person
, so that their
mucels
black marine bivalves usually steamed in wine
mussels
masses
 will not improve and their physical talents become a non-usage ability. To include, despite the high values and
effects
Suggestion
the effects
 of body`s shape, without practicing nothing will change and success will be far away, so that in my opinion the impacts of hard working are far
outweight
be heavier than
outweighed
outweigh
.
Submitted by sabahashemi103 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!