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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The below chart gives information the data of immigration, emigration and net migration in UK between 1999 and 2008.

The below chart gives information the data of immigration, emigration and net migration in UK between 1999 and 2008.
#information #data #immigration #emigration #migration #uk
The line graph illustrates the
immigration
,
emigration
 and net
migration
 details in the
UK
 during the years 1999 to 2008.
Overall
, from initial to
final
Add a comma
,final
show examples
 the
immigration
 to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was more and those who emigrated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
UK
 were medium, but the net
migration
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fluctuation. In 1999, the
immigration
 to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was around 460
thousand
 and
emigration
 was almost 200
thousand
,
while
 the net
migration
 was nearly 170
thousand
.
However
, there was a moderate rise in
immigration
,
emigration
 and net
migration
 from 2000 till 2002.
While
 in 2002, the former
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
crossed 500
thousand
 and
emigration
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached almost 360
thousand
, but the net
migration
 was around 150
thousand
.
Furthermore
, in 2004 the
immigration
 rate
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly 590
thousand
,
while
 there was a slight drop in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emigration
, but the net
migration
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached 250
thousand
.
However
, in a gap of 2 years,
immigration
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
600
thousand
,
emigration
 to 400
thousand
 and net had dropped by 50
thousand
.
Similarly
, the fluctuation continued and by 2008 the
immigration
 was around 590
thousand
,
emigration
 crossed 410
thousand
 and net
migration
Add a missing verb
had fallen
show examples
fallen
Add the auxiliary verb
fell
has fallen
show examples
 to 170
thousand
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words immigration, emigration, migration, uk, thousand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

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