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Band 6

The below chart gives information the data of immigration, emigration and net migration in UK between 1999 and 2008.

The below chart gives information the data of immigration, emigration and net migration in UK between 1999 and 2008.
The line graph illustrates the
immigration
Use synonyms
,
emigration
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 and net
migration
Use synonyms
 details in the
UK
Use synonyms
 during the years 1999 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, from initial to
final
Add a comma
,final
show examples
 the
immigration
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 to
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was more and those who emigrated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
UK
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 were medium, but the net
migration
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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always
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fluctuation. In 1999, the
immigration
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 to
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was around 460
thousand
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 and
emigration
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 was almost 200
thousand
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the net
migration
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 was nearly 170
thousand
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there was a moderate rise in
immigration
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,
emigration
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 and net
migration
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 from 2000 till 2002.
While
Linking Words
 in 2002, the former
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
crossed 500
thousand
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 and
emigration
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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reached almost 360
thousand
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, but the net
migration
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 was around 150
thousand
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2004 the
immigration
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 rate
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly 590
thousand
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,
while
Linking Words
 there was a slight drop in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emigration
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, but the net
migration
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached 250
thousand
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.
However
Linking Words
, in a gap of 2 years,
immigration
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 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
600
thousand
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,
emigration
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 to 400
thousand
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 and net had dropped by 50
thousand
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the fluctuation continued and by 2008 the
immigration
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 was around 590
thousand
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,
emigration
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 crossed 410
thousand
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 and net
migration
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Add a missing verb
had fallen
show examples
fallen
Add the auxiliary verb
fell
has fallen
show examples
 to 170
thousand
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words immigration, emigration, migration, uk, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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