Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia.As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Increasing number of infants, approximately three quarters, is facing fat problem in Australia. Many people claim that children should be cared, observed what type of meal they have, how much they exercise regularly by schools.
the
Suggestion
The
essay will subscribe to
this
opinion slightly and put forward some other monitoring methods as to children
health
related matter. School should be liable to offsprings' daily routine
such
as, how much nutritious food they should take, when and how they should do physical exercise and the length of time they should spend on playing. Because, they are
also
a pivotal lesson of education as children spare a considerable amount of time in schools on a daily routine basis.
As a result
, children will be sturdy, strengthened and vigorous.
For instance
, In Vietnam, it is compulsory for teachers
to look
Suggestion
look
after and to be vigilant infants's modus operandi and modus
vivendi
Suggestion
Vivendi
as well as reveal a weekly report regarding their
health
. Along with teachers' accountability,
however
, parents watchfulness is a significant area concerning children foods and routine. Because, offsprings' stay more hours at home than schools.
consequently
Suggestion
Consequently
, children will have the under strict observation and discrete routine so that they can eat hygienic and fat free food which lead them to be fit, slim, and healthy.
For example
, in our family, my parents along with me are very cautious of my youngest brother's and sister's
health
. To conclude,
although
teachers' responsibility cannot gainsay about students'
health
, but the family has an indispensable liability for children
Submitted by raihanshahriyer765 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: