IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #government #costs #universities #university #education #anyone
Education
 is always an important factor in improving
people
's lives quality. Some
people
 think that the
government
 should support the
education
 expenses for
people
 who desire to study. I completely agree with
this
 statement.
Therefore
, the reasons for supporting
this
 statement will be discussed. The
government
 providing
education
 fees for anyone can bring a variety of advantages to the students and
society
.
Firstly
, reduces inequality in
society
.
For instance
, in Germany, the
government
 support the tuition fees for both domestic and international student.
Moreover
, a
further
 benefit is that
education
 will decrease the poverty rates, crime, and unemployment problems in
society
. In the fact that
people
 will receive more opportunities to find a job that relates to their field of study resulting in a reduction of poverty.
Therefore
, highly accessible
education
 improves the happiness and well-being of both students and their families in every nation around the world.
In addition
,
Education
 improves the
country
.
People
's knowledge.
Therefore
, a
country
 which has a highly efficient population will raise a positive aspect compared to a
country
 in which the
government
 does not pay adequate attention to the
education
 of the population in every aspect.
Education
 is very valuable for
people
 In conclusion, there are clear that the benefit of free learning can improve not only the quality of the population's lives, and reduce
society
's problems but
also
 develop the
country
 in a better way. so, the
government
 should support
education
 fees for anyone who wants and if their countries have a good
education
, their countries will develop.
Submitted by sakawratpim on

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task response
You have answered the task well, but some of your ideas are not fully elaborated. For instance, you mentioned a decrease in crime rates as a benefit of free education without providing supporting data or examples. Provide stronger and more specific evidence to back up your claims.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical organization, but certain sentences are somewhat difficult to comprehend due to awkward phrasing. Consider simplifying and rewriting complex sentences to ensure clarity.
lexical resource
In some spots, the words are not used correctly, which can slightly confuse the reader. For example, 'in every aspect' doesn't fit well in the context. Work on your lexical resource to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
While you demonstrate a considerable range of grammatical structures, several sentences contain errors, making them unclear. Keep practicing grammar exercises and proofread your work before submission.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • equitable education system
  • social mobility
  • talented individuals
  • higher education
  • prioritize
  • sustainable
  • alternative sources of funding
  • partnerships with businesses
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