IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
It is better to prevent health issues than to seek ways to treat them and
this
 should be included in a government’s budget.
This
 essay agrees that matters that affect well being should be prevented rather than being treated.
Firstly
,
this
 essay will discuss how living healthy can boost productivity and
secondly
, it will discuss how it will reduce government spending.
To begin
, if individuals avoid contacting disease, they will have no need to go to the clinics and they will have more time for productive activities. Drugs and other treatments given to a sick person can prevent the person from going about their normal business;
hence
, it is better not to fall ill at all than to waste precious time resting from the effect of the medication.
For example
, I was sick earlier
this
 week and I had to go to the hospital where I was given some drugs. These medications made me weak, to the extent that I had to miss some days at work;
this
 means I was not productive during the period I was resting.
In addition
, healthy living can save the state authority a lot in the area of health care services. The state authority operates hospitals for her citizens; when people are ill, they visit these care centres. The more people get sick in a country, the higher the cost of servicing these hospitals.
Therefore
, if the amount of illness is curbed, government’s expenditure on health care will decrease. A recent survey carried out by nurses in Lagos State University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH), showed that during periods of epidemic outbreaks, government spending rises drastically. In conclusion,
instead
 of seeking medical assistance, it is in the best interest of people not to fall ill at all.
Submitted by evieimhansoloeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: