A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
century, there are countless families who are showing interest in what concerns animals' rights,
therefore
it is becoming an actual and argued topic. population are starting to look disapprovingly at all situations and events with animal exploitation. In fact, the circus ,
for example
, has lost its popularity and the audience prefers human performances.
Moreover
, animal rights have become part of the law and animal abuse is punished with fees and occasionally with prison.
Furthermore
,
also
animal breeding has been observed and society is realizing that the killing and the slaughter of animals are cruelly done. It is important to realize that the public of new generations is developing a new sensibility concerning
this
issue, but currently, it is emerging a new extremist thought. Despite the huge number of vegetarian nations ( the majority of them are following a new fashion), there are
also
communities with distorted views. The area that worries me most regards animal exploration which allows considerable and important improvements in medical investigation and,
therefore
in human welfare. The animalist group are spreading wrong information , directly damaging the analysis sector. As an illustration, a few months ago an animalist group destroyed years and years of neurological probes freeing rats used in a laboratory because they would have been cruelly treated. Unfortunately, these animalists did not know that each treatment used anaesthesia. Given these points, I defend animal rights and I do not support any form of animal exploitation ,
nevertheless
, I do not support any extremist thought especially concerning medical analysis.
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and reducing grammatical errors to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear and explicit main idea.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion for better impact and clarity.
task achievement
Be cautious with the use of vocabulary and ensure it fits the context accurately (e.g., 'population' should be 'populations' or 'people').
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on animal rights in a balanced manner.
task achievement
The writer gives clear and comprehensive ideas about the topic.
task achievement
The writer uses relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to the circus and the laboratory incident.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow and structure overall

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
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