IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both of these two views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #punishment #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account #two
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some would argue that the same kind of punishment has to be executed for all
committers
a special group delegated to consider some matter
committees
knitters
 of
crime
Use synonyms
, while others believe it is fairer to consider the circumstances and reasons before the judgment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that
one
Use synonyms
 penalty for all sins can be appropriate to some extent but, incidents in which
crime
Use synonyms
 has occurred should evaluate
first
Linking Words
. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, some people say, judging all criminals with the same judgment, is more potent in reducing numbers of crimes. A
pickpocketer
Suggestion
 shall be treated equally like a murderer in all circumstances.
As a result
Linking Words
, people beware before committing any offence and think multiple times about its consequences.
For example
Linking Words
, in Ethiopia, a fixed judgment of all criminals is prisoned for twenty five years, regardless of their age, mental, and psychological health.
However
Linking Words
, I believe
one
Use synonyms
 sentence for every offender makes them deceived, cheated and depressed and becoming more violent and notorious.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, taking the criminal's motive and the
crime
Use synonyms
 situation into consideration before sentencing them is an essential part of the criminal judicial
system
Use synonyms
. The respected judges should patiently hear every criminal perspective and understand them, which will prevail in transparent justice. Transparency in the legal
system
Use synonyms
 allows criminals to deter antisocial
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 and helps them to be a lawful citizen.
For instance
Linking Words
, a murderer who killed someone for any external gain like money or
jewellry
an adornment (as a bracelet or ring or necklace) made of precious metals and set with gems (or imitation gems)
jewellery
 should be punished differently than
one
Use synonyms
 who did
murder
Suggestion
the murder
 in self-defence. Transparency in the judicial
system
Use synonyms
 allows criminals to deter antisocial behaviour and helps them to be lawful citizens.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
I believe
this
Linking Words
 method is preferable because it caters to the actual problem well and solidifies people's confidence and trust in the judicial
system
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 sentencing
committers
a special group delegated to consider some matter
committees
 of any
crime
Use synonyms
, in the same way, it makes criminals more violent.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe understanding by the judges the people's motives, and the situation of the offence will curb the
crime
Use synonyms
 effectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, upon release, it helps to make them a law abide citizens.
Submitted by drrsali110 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: