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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many Offenders commit more crime after serving the first punishments. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problems.

#offenders #crime #first #punishments #measures
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It is believed that criminals commit more offences after having the
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first
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punishment
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.
This
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 happens due to lack of their economic stability.
This
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 problem can be curbed by providing them financial assistance and teaching them skills. Those people who had served the
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first
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 penalty tend to commit more illegal acts, because they have to earn for living. The society does not accept them as respectable members after they had received a penalty in prison.
This
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 leads to less availability of highly paying job for them.
Hence
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, they have to commit more offences to avail basic necessities. Many wrongdoer can deter to do offences after serving the
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first
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punishment
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 by providing them help with finances. The
government
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 must provide them free entry into training centres. As an illustration, the
government
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 of Pakistan started an initiative which trains the prisoners to learn new skills. These skills help them to earn in later life rather than continue to do unethical activities.
In addition
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, the
government
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 must allocate funds to those offenders who have served the
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first
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punishment
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. By stabilizing their economic status, they can be motivated not to do unlawful activities.
This
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 helps them to adjust in the society as a respectful member.
Therefore
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, the role of the
government
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 in helping them learn skills and allocating funds for them reduces the chances of committing crimes after serving
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first
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punishment
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. To conclude, after serving the
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first
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punishment
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, offenders tend to commit more crimes.
This
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 act is due to less stability of their economic state.
This
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 issue can be solved by assisting them financially and teaching them skills.
Submitted by maharsumera on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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