It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It's hard to deny that
money
is one of the most important things for humans and Use synonyms
such
a fact leads some Linking Words
people
to generate their viewpoint that everyone is supposed to save Use synonyms
money
for the Use synonyms
future
, Use synonyms
whereas
, Linking Words
such
a statement lacks both logical and factual fallacies and should be examined meticulously. In my opinion, I partly agree with the point for old Linking Words
people
, but as far as personal Use synonyms
income
and social Use synonyms
economy
are concerned, young Use synonyms
people
should use their Use synonyms
money
wisely Use synonyms
instead
of always saving Linking Words
money
.
First and foremost, spending Use synonyms
money
to improve themselves helps young Use synonyms
people
gain more chances of earning Use synonyms
money
. To be more specific, residents like undergraduates can cultivate practical skills by attending relevant courses, after getting better abilities, they'll be able to apply for jobs with higher salaries. Use synonyms
As a result
, those Linking Words
people
will have higher incomes compared with others who don't spend a lot on tuition, Use synonyms
thus
attending meaningful classes is a kind of useful investment for young Linking Words
people
themselves.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, our social Linking Words
economy
would benefit a lot if citizens at young ages could achieve certain output in personal finance. Take the case of China: during the period of COVID-19, the government Use synonyms
income
had dropped dramatically by around 20%, because young Use synonyms
people
are afraid of illness Use synonyms
thus
most of them saved Linking Words
money
for Use synonyms
future
emergencies, Use synonyms
as a result
, government Linking Words
income
was severely damaged during those years. Had it not for the epidemic happening, the social Use synonyms
economy
would be much higher and better.
Use synonyms
However
, I agree that old Linking Words
people
are supposed to hold their Use synonyms
money
as insurance for Use synonyms
future
emergencies. To be more clear, Use synonyms
due to
weaker bodies, the old might easily catch some serious illness Linking Words
such
as cancer, if they don't save Linking Words
money
, waiting for them is going to be cruel, as insufficient Use synonyms
money
for expensive medical measurements is often an undisputed problem. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
although
daughters or sons can help cover the fee, Linking Words
such
a situation might cause great economic pressure on them.
Based on the statement and analysis above, despite young Linking Words
people
might use their Use synonyms
money
wisely for a better Use synonyms
future
as personal Use synonyms
income
and social Use synonyms
economy
are concerned, it's better for the old to save their Use synonyms
money
for some uncertain factors that might happen. At the same time, it can be predicted that an increasing number of residents will do Use synonyms
this
in the Linking Words
future
if they've thought carefully.Use synonyms
Submitted by Phigros666 on
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task achievement
When presenting counterpoints (e.g., the benefits of saving money for young people), try to offer a more balanced perspective by acknowledging possible benefits even if you generally disagree.
task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully developed and supported with examples or reasoning. For instance, discuss the long-term impact of investing in skills on personal finance more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Transition words and phrases can help improve the flow between points and paragraphs. Consider using more varied linking devices like 'additionally,' 'consequently,' and 'on the other hand' to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Revisiting sentence structures and phrasing can help improve clarity. Some sentences, especially in the introduction, are quite complex and can be simplified for easier understanding.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt thoroughly, presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, like the one about China during COVID-19, are provided to support points made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.