It is important for people to risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Bungee jumping off a cliff? Swapping jobs every two years? These are
risks
Use synonyms
which I believe are necessary in one's
life
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
having a little fun,
risks
Use synonyms
are an important part of
life
Use synonyms
that can wire someone's brain to make
groudbreaking
Correct your spelling
groundbreaking
decisions which is why I firmly believe that the advantages of taking
risks
Use synonyms
outweigh the disadvantages, my stance on
this
Linking Words
matter is grounded as I have some concrete examples within my
life
Use synonyms
to prove that
Use synonyms
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
is an important aspect in people's
life
Use synonyms
. So why bother with
Use synonyms
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
?
Well
Add the punctuation
Well,
show examples
let's think
this
Linking Words
through
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if we don't take
risks
Use synonyms
what can we expect to happen in our
everday
Correct your spelling
everyday
menial lives, working a 9 to 5
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
with no changes
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Use synonyms
Risk taking
Add a hyphen
Risk-taking
show examples
allows us to discover opportunities that we once thought were impossible in our lives. It allows us to meet new people, new jobs and new
life
Use synonyms
experiences and that
last
Linking Words
point is what I think is so important about taking
risks
Use synonyms
,
attaining
Correct word choice
and attaining
show examples
life
Use synonyms
experiences. What are you going to do when you are 80 and telling your grandkids about how grandpa did nothing meaningful in his
life
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
It's about the stories you can tell for future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
to inspire them.
However
Linking Words
, I understand that most of you are
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
show examples
, what happens when the
risk
Use synonyms
fails? To
this
Linking Words
I say, let it happen, if you
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
to take on a
risk
Use synonyms
and it doesn't work out in your favour, just be prepared for the consequences. As of right
now
Add a comma
now,
show examples
I am demonstrating
Use synonyms
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
as I have
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
to taking the
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
A level
Add a hyphen
A-level
show examples
examinations which was the
risk
Use synonyms
I decided to take in my
life
Use synonyms
. For me, doing the
A level
Add a hyphen
A-level
show examples
examination will be challenging and unnecessarily difficult as it was entirely optional but
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
taking that
risk
Use synonyms
has allowed me to access so many different university options within the UK. If I had not taken
this
Linking Words
risk
Use synonyms
and gone to a local university, my career and whole future might be affected which is why
this
Linking Words
risk
Use synonyms
that I took is warranted. Now if
this
Linking Words
all goes horribly wrong, I might feel a bit different about taking
risks
Use synonyms
but for
now
Add a comma
now,
show examples
I still stand firm on my stance. To summarize,
Use synonyms
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
is something that I believe should be inherently in someone's
life
Use synonyms
as I believe that it develops someone into a more critically minded person who is able to weigh the outcome of their decisions. Not only that but they
also
Linking Words
obtain stories for
life
Use synonyms
which they can tell for generations to come.
Submitted by lydiaia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear position that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, the overall development of ideas could be improved. In terms of task achievement, ensure that your essay addresses both sides of the argument to fully meet the requirements of the task. Right now, you've primarily focused on the positive aspects of risk-taking with only a brief mention of the potential negatives. Including a balanced consideration of the disadvantages of risk-taking would make your argument more nuanced and complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, ensure that your paragraphs follow a clear and organized sequence. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence, and the subsequent sentences should expand upon that idea with relevant details and examples. Furthermore, make sure you connect your ideas with appropriate transitional phrases to improve the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Your personal story about taking risks with A level examinations is a good start, but including additional specific examples and evidence related to risk-taking in professional and personal lives would strengthen your argument. Examples and details need to be relevant and clearly connected to your main point about the importance and benefits of taking risks.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: