IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is a highly debatable issue whether the
government
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 should spend money on medicine and
education
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 rather than on theatres and
sports
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 stadiums. In my opinion, all these things are important for the
people
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 and
therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
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 should allocate equal resources for both. Basic medical care is very important for the general public. If
people
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 are healthy, there will be more productivity
of
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at
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 work and the country will prosper as a whole. There are many
people
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 who live below the poverty line and it is the
government
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’s responsibility that they should receive medical aid whenever needed. There are
also
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 the elderly who have paid taxes throughout their working life and now need good medical care. Good
education
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 facilities are
also
Linking Words
 the duty of the
government
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. Today, there are a number of children from deprived backgrounds who get substandard
education
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. They would definitely require a high quality of
education
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 if they are to succeed in later life. What is more, an educated society has less crime and violence and the country gets good recognition in the whole world if its
people
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 are educated.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, theatres and
sports
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 stadiums are equally essential for
people
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. Art and entertainment is
also
Linking Words
 a basic human need. Theatrical shows provide entertainment and at the same time preserve our culture and tradition. Our artists earn name and fame for our country.
Sports
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 stadiums,
similarly
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, attract millions of spectators to watch matches every year. Many more millions watch games on television, read about them in newspapers, and discuss them with their friends.
Therefore
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, we cannot say that these are unnecessary expenditures and
therefore
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 the
government
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 should ignore them. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, medicine and
education
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 are needs that we recognize, but theatrical or
sports
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 events are
also
Linking Words
 basic needs.
Therefore
Linking Words
 governments should allocate resources for both these things.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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