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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, most shops and products become identical. Some people think it is a positive development, while others believe it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

These days, the phenomenon in which more
stores
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 and
products
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 bear a striking resemblance to each other has aroused controversy as some people advocate
this
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 trend,
whereas
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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others are strongly opposed to it. From my perspective,
although
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this
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 can be seen as a drive for enterprises to enhance their quality, I believe that it will lead to more harm than good not only to consumers but
also
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 to the economy. On the
one
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 hand, supporters of
such
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 a predisposition may argue that it promotes fair competition among shops and companies.
In other words
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, once aesthetic appeal from the appearance of
stores
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 or items is no longer prioritized, their quality will be the factor that determines their success on the market. Those that fail to satisfy
this
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 requirement will be eliminated from the competition and there will be no place for enterprises that overly focus on the marketing tactics rather than the internal value of their
products
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.
As a result
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,
this
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 should incentivize companies to constantly enhance the
experience
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 of users
as well as
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 upgrade their services or
products
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 in order to retain loyal customers. Despite these valid arguments, I opine that if
stores
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 and items all look the same, it will exert more negative impacts on the economy and consumers'
experience
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.
Firstly
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, the indistinguishable appearance of
products
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 or shops may easily confuse shoppers and they can end up mispurchasing an item or
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
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 the wrong shop. The unsatisfactory
experience
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 they gain from these mistaken purchases can have a deleterious effect on the reputation of the brand they
initially
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 intended to opt for.
Besides
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, if items are allowed to build similar images, the practice of duplicating authentic
products
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 will be rife, which can cause great harm to prestigious brand names.
Secondly
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, if
stores
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 and
products
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 all look identical, they may lose a competitive edge over the other rivals in terms of attractiveness. Packaging or decoration is what sets
one
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 apart from the others and makes it outstanding;
therefore
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, without
unique
Add an article
a unique
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 look, these businesses will find it challenging to promote their images among the public.
Consequently
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, when diversity is lost, buyers will tend to choose only
one
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 brand when they need to purchase a certain item, regardless of
their
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the
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 variety in supermarkets or malls.
This
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 trend will force other firms to shutter and impede the economic progress of a whole country in the long run.
To sum up
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, even though
similarly
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-looking
products
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 and shops can encourage companies to focus more on the quality of their offerings, I think
this
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 phenomenon will negatively affect
one
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's buying
experience
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 and prevent enterprises from equally thriving and contributing to the national economy.

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task achievement
Make use of specific examples to strengthen your argument and provide further illustration to your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs link smoothly by using appropriate transition words and phrases, strengthening the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have presented a well-rounded discussion by examining both aspects of the topic and providing a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
The points you have raised are well-supported and logically ordered, enhancing the readability and persuasiveness of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • homogenization
  • globalization
  • identical
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • enhanced competition
  • lower prices
  • cultural diversity
  • limited choices
  • individuality
  • balanced approach
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