IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People think a law should be exist, so that young people under 18 can not be out after midnight. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued by some parents that they should set a rule to prevent their underage children from getting out
after
Change preposition
apply
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late at night. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think young children must not
let
Add a missing verb
be let
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 out after
midnight
Use synonyms
 for
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 own safety. First of all, I believe that
retaining
Verb problem
returning
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 youngsters home after
midnight
Use synonyms
 prevents them from falling into unwanted troubles. Rather than allowing young teenagers
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
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 out late at night and let them do whatever
ever
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apply
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they desire, which might drag them into unnecessary problems.
For instance
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,
according to
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Harward
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Harward's
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 research, there are high chances of getting their life in danger by dangerous
personals
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personnel
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 like petty thieves, muggers, and robbers. Or even get caught in a street fight.
That is
Linking Words
 why our younger generation should
protect
Wrong verb form
be protected
show examples
 by a strict rule by their guardians from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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late-night visits for their safety.
Secondly
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, I
also
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 consider a law that holds
the
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apply
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youngsters from
after
Add a hyphen
after-midnight
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midnight
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 journeys will restrain youngsters from utilizing unwanted substances that can destroy their valuable younger life.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a higher possibility of the
addict
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addicted
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for
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to
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 harmful things like drugs, cocaine, and heroin. Or force them to use unsuitable things by others.
Therefore
Linking Words
 as adults, we should emphasize why it is an import
of
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for
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such
Linking Words
 a law to prevent them from
roming
Correct your spelling
roaming
coming
 after
midnight
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, considering their wellbeing.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe
that is
Linking Words
 very important to enforce a law for
the
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apply
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people below 18 years of age
from going
Change preposition
to go
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 out later at
midnight
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. By considering the safety and blocking
involving
Wrong verb form
involved
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 with poisonous substances.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • curfew
  • enforce
  • infringe
  • personal freedom
  • autonomy
  • foster resentment
  • responsible parenting
  • community engagement
  • adequate sleep
  • exposure to potential dangers
What to do next:
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