IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people choose private health care centers rather than public service centers what is your opinion?

#people #health #care #centers #service
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Health
Use synonyms
 is the most crucial thing to a person, it is
also
Linking Words
 the one thing where people don't want to adjust if they can afford it.
Although
Linking Words
 modernisation has improved the public
health
Use synonyms
 service, but it is still not at par with its counterparts. I feel while selecting, either of the
health
Use synonyms
 services though they serve the same purpose, depends on a lot of variables, which may lead one towards private
sector
Use synonyms
 in many cases. Even though the public
health
Use synonyms
 services have improved drastically, but still in many countries, it might not be the case. In many backward countries, overpopulation leads to understaffed hospitals, improper hygiene and huge waiting periods.
Also
Linking Words
 in
such
Linking Words
 conditions the private
health
Use synonyms
 services, seems to be the right choice, even to someone who can barely afford it.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study showed, private
health
Use synonyms
 services in developing country fare 10 times better than public services. Examples, of corruption, mistakes and various other scams in the public
health
Use synonyms
 services
also
Linking Words
 does not paint a favourable picture.
Although
Linking Words
 private care, can be luxurious and may overcome many of the aforementioned flaws of the public service, but they have their share of problems too.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, its luxury can come at a very high cost, followed by fake test recommendations, experimental treatments that could turn out either way. Recently, there was a scam where few private hospitals treated an already dead person, just for money.
Also
Linking Words
 a study conducted by university of Columbia, showed that the public
sector
Use synonyms
 in developed countries is as good as the private
sector
Use synonyms
 in developing countries. In conclusion, I would like to say that, yes, we want the best
health
Use synonyms
 care, but the decision of either public or private
sector
Use synonyms
 depends on the persons financial and geographic location, after all, healthy life can lead to a happy life.
Submitted by Nirbhay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: