IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#country #health #service #treatments
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It is often thought that every nation should offer the latest medical facilities to its citizens, irrespective of expenses and availability. I completely agree with
this
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 notion, not only because it is the fundamental right of citizens and they pay
tax
Suggestion
taxes
 throughout their
lives but
Accept comma addition
lives, but
also
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 because it will result in a greater number of sufferings.
This
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 essay will explore how these factors justify my opinion.
Firstly
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, the factor that compelled me to agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement is people pay
tax
Suggestion
taxes
, for every facility, to the
government
Use synonyms
. The
government
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 has fixed a specific percentage on everything that has to be paid by its residents, which they claim to spend for the betterment of
citizens
Suggestion
the citizens
. Take an example of Brazil, where it is estimated that a person’s tax return is five thousand dollars per year, which is spent by the
government
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 to provide state-of-the-art facilities to its citizens.
Thus
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, it is justified to spend the money on the provision of expensive
health
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 services to a person, which is collected from him.
Secondly
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, enjoying a free medical treatment, whether it is unavailable due to its
cost
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, is the basic right of a person. As the
government
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 is responsible for the basic necessities of its people
such
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 as
health
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, food, shelter, so as per the state's policy getting free
health
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 care is included in basic rights.
For instance
Linking Words
, states assume the obligations and duties under the International
Law to
Accept comma addition
Law, to
 respect, to protect, and provide all fundamental rights.
Hence
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, despite the
cost
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, nations should provide free
health
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 services to their people.
Finally
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, if treatments were not available,
then
Linking Words
 it would result in higher morbidity and mortality rate in the country. As some segments of society
such
Linking Words
 as unemployed, retired persons and poor people are unable to get medical services due to higher
cost
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, due to which the death rate will increase. To sum up, I believe that I completely agree with the statement not only because of the levy imposed by the
government
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 on citizens and providing free of
cost
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health
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 facilities is the
government
Use synonyms
’s obligation

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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