Some people think that the Olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The

Olympics

has been

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

event

and celebrated significantly

last

few decades.

While

it is an exciting

world

event

, some

people

claim that the

Olympics

is not valuable in the 21st century. In my opinion,

while

I

am mostly disagree

Change the verb form

mostly disagree

show examples

with

this

statement, I will point out

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

things in the following essay. There are various needs and benefits of the

Olympics

in our society.

Firstly

, the

Olympics

brings all the

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

together. Many

countries

have had problems and the

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

suffer from from hard

situation

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situations

show examples

including civil war, terrorism, political corruption, natural

disaster

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disasters

show examples

, refugee

crisis

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crises

show examples

and so on. There are tensions between hostile

countries

that

difficult

Add a missing verb

are difficult

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to

be solved

Wrong verb form

solve

show examples

.

However

, it has been proved that these tensions could be eased during international

event

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events

show examples

.

For example

, there is the story that the Rugby

world cup

Correct your spelling

World Cup

show examples

game brought

a peace

Remove the article

peace

a feeling of peace

a sense of peace

a wave of peace

show examples

in South Africa in the past. There

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

serious tension between Black

African

Replace the word

Africans

show examples

and White

African

Replace the word

Africans

show examples

back

then

.

Although

the team members and

nation

were reluctant to play the game as the mixed union team in the beginning, the victory of the game broke the wall between them. They were proud of being the

world

champion

at

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that year and

this

contributed to

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

peaceful

Correct article usage

a peaceful

show examples

society

significantly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

in South Africa.

Secondly

, The

Olympics

has positive impacts

to

Change preposition

on

show examples

the economy and tourism. The

country

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

hold

Correct subject-verb agreement

holds

show examples

the

Olympics

brings a lot of tourists from

over

Rephrase

all over

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the

world

.

People

can travel around the

country

and have opportunities to know Its own culture,

custom

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customs

show examples

and

people

. Sometimes

this

can lead to

rebuild

Wrong verb form

rebuilding

show examples

the

country

or

gain

Wrong verb form

gaining

show examples

credit from

people

.

Lastly

, The

Olympics

motivate players because competitors push their own limits to make their

dream

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dreams

show examples

come true.

This

would inspire other athletes, youths and

people

who love sports.

Also

,

this

hard work would impress

people

and give all

countries

hope, courage and inspiration.

Thus

I think the

Olympics

is

crucial

Add an article

a crucial

show examples

event

in our society.

On the other hand

, it is true that the

Olympics

cost a lot of

monay

Correct your spelling

money

.

Also

, international

affair

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affairs

show examples

or important issues in each

country

tend to be forgotten during the

event

.

Furthermore

, the competition could stimulate hostile

countries

and sometimes it can lead to violence,

conflict

Correct word choice

and conflict

show examples

between

nation

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nations

show examples

. The worst scenario can be the bomb

theret

Correct your spelling

there

threat

or terrorism during the

event

.

Therefore

, It is understandable that some

people

feel less importance of the

Olympics

. In conclusion, It is a debatable topic whether the

Olympics

is important or not anymore.

However

, I believe it is

the

Correct article usage

a

show examples

great international

event

that

Change preposition

in

show examples

the

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

all

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

work in one

event

together. Because that can always remind us we are the same human and it is possible to live side by side if we respect each other.