Some people think that the Olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #olympics #st #century

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The

Olympics

Use synonyms

has been

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

event

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and celebrated significantly

last

Linking Words

few decades.

While

Linking Words

it is an exciting

world

Use synonyms

event

Use synonyms

, some

people

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claim that the

Olympics

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is not valuable in the 21st century. In my opinion,

while

Linking Words

am mostly disagree

Change the verb form

mostly disagree

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

statement, I will point out

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

things in the following essay. There are various needs and benefits of the

Olympics

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in our society.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

Olympics

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brings all the

Use synonyms

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

together. Many

countries

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have had problems and the

Use synonyms

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

suffer from from hard

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

including civil war, terrorism, political corruption, natural

disaster

Fix the agreement mistake

disasters

show examples

, refugee

crisis

Fix the agreement mistake

crises

show examples

and so on. There are tensions between hostile

countries

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that

difficult

Add a missing verb

are difficult

show examples

be solved

Wrong verb form

solve

show examples

However

Linking Words

, it has been proved that these tensions could be eased during international

Use synonyms

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, there is the story that the Rugby

Use synonyms

world cup

Correct your spelling

World Cup

show examples

game brought

a peace

Remove the article

peace

a feeling of peace

a sense of peace

a wave of peace

show examples

in South Africa in the past. There

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

serious tension between Black

African

Replace the word

Africans

show examples

and White

African

Replace the word

Africans

show examples

back

then

Linking Words

Although

Linking Words

the team members and

nation

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were reluctant to play the game as the mixed union team in the beginning, the victory of the game broke the wall between them. They were proud of being the

world

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champion

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that year and

this

Linking Words

contributed to

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

peaceful

Correct article usage

a peaceful

show examples

society

significantly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

in South Africa.

Secondly

Linking Words

, The

Olympics

Use synonyms

has positive impacts

Change preposition

show examples

the economy and tourism. The

country

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where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

hold

Correct subject-verb agreement

holds

show examples

the

Olympics

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brings a lot of tourists from

over

Rephrase

all over

show examples

the

world

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People

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can travel around the

country

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and have opportunities to know Its own culture,

custom

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customs

show examples

and

people

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. Sometimes

this

Linking Words

can lead to

rebuild

Wrong verb form

rebuilding

show examples

the

country

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gain

Wrong verb form

gaining

show examples

credit from

people

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Lastly

Linking Words

, The

Olympics

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motivate players because competitors push their own limits to make their

dream

Fix the agreement mistake

dreams

show examples

come true.

This

Linking Words

would inspire other athletes, youths and

people

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who love sports.

Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

hard work would impress

people

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and give all

countries

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hope, courage and inspiration.

Thus

Linking Words

I think the

Olympics

Use synonyms

crucial

Add an article

a crucial

show examples

event

Use synonyms

in our society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is true that the

Olympics

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cost a lot of

monay

Correct your spelling

money

Also

Linking Words

, international

affair

Fix the agreement mistake

affairs

show examples

or important issues in each

country

Use synonyms

tend to be forgotten during the

event

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the competition could stimulate hostile

countries

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and sometimes it can lead to violence,

conflict

Correct word choice

and conflict

show examples

between

Use synonyms

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

. The worst scenario can be the bomb

theret

Correct your spelling

there

threat

or terrorism during the

event

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Therefore

Linking Words

, It is understandable that some

people

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feel less importance of the

Olympics

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. In conclusion, It is a debatable topic whether the

Olympics

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is important or not anymore.

However

Linking Words

, I believe it is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

great international

event

Use synonyms

that

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

all

Use synonyms

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

work in one

event

Use synonyms

together. Because that can always remind us we are the same human and it is possible to live side by side if we respect each other.

Submitted by 08875 on Wed Dec 18 2019

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

451 words

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Some people think that the Olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The scheme below represents the process of brick manufacturing for the building industry.

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage

in many countruies, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

It is commonly believed that some people are with certain talents for instance for sport and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both views and give tour opinion.