IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lawbreakers #prison #talents #work
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Some people argue that talented lawbreakers should be sent to work rather than given a
prison
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sentence
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.
However
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, I have the same opinion with those who insists all the criminals should be sent to
prison
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 as the
punishment
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 for them to commit a crime. Criminals should be punished for their behaviours and know that unlawful actions have consequences, and
prison
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sentence
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 can act as a good
punishment
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 and an alert. On the one hand, they will lose freedom to pay for their mistaken behaviours,
as a result
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 of being separated from family and friends.
On the other hand
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, they cannot get wage and even may face the conditions of losing jobs as they have no access to working. Though those who have better talents can have made contributions to their own areas,
this
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 should not be the excuse for them to avoid the
prison
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sentence
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. Several reasons support
this
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 idea,
firstly
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, different sentences for different talented people will greatly violate the justify and fairness of the
law
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.
Secondly
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, talented criminals only paid very little for breaking the
law
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. They still have freedom and they can work as usual.
This
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 kind of
punishment
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 will not make them realise their mistakes and
can not
can not
cannot
 deter them from making mistakes, even making them to commit heavier crimes. All in all, I believe
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prison
Suggestion
the prison sentence
sentence
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 can act as a deterrent
for
Suggestion
to
 criminals and make them
thinking
Suggestion
think
 carefully before crime. Different
punishment
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 for talented lawbreakers, not only cannot make them realise the huge cost of breaking the
law
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, but
also
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 deteriorates
law
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 justify.
Therefore
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, I do not agree the point that those with better talents do not need to be sent to
prison
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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