IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

#deforestation #development #species #habitat #point #extinction #animals #measures
Day by day most of the mammals are putting at risk like they are losing their freedom and some are jeopardised to some extent because of logging, the evolution of cities and unlawful stalking. I think it is essential to secure our creatures to keep our surrounding atmosphere will be safe. To do
this
, we have to save forests, develop the country side areas and stop the chasing flock.
Firstly
, it's very necessary to defend animals to save our nation cause for country development, we have to attract foreigners and foreign investors due to that tourism has to grow. To improve tourism, mammals are
also
 will play key role.
For Example
, if our homeland has magnificent zoos having a variety of beasts, aliens will try to establish their companies in surrounding regions.
Secondly
, to preserve these brutes, the people in the whole country have to do some workout, that means everyone has to stop the erosion of the forests.
For Instance
, By developing the forests, more animals will be alive and survive and they won't enter into the public. So, the regime has to put strict rules or has to change the amendments to give the serious punishment to the public those are killing the mammals illegally and for the progress of the metropolitans. In Conclusion, every creature in
this
 world is very important to us and for future generations
also
. But it is not possible with only one person to save animals. It is the responsibility of every person in
this
 world. So, we altogether have to come forward and save our mammals.
Submitted by venugopal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: