IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

one of the consequences of the medical care is that people are living longer and expentensy is increasing Do you think this advantage of development overwieghts the disadvantage?

It is often said that,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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everything you see
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
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exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
 together in a delegate balance. Modern medical facilities and research in the healthcare sector have brought miracles to the world. The main significance of advancements in technology, with respect to health,
have
Change the verb form
has
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 created a positive improvement across the world
that
Change preposition
in that
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 people get
medicate
Wrong verb form
medicated
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 and recover earlier when they suffer from any ailment which results
to
Change preposition
in to
show examples
 increase the
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we will discuss, the pros of
this
Linking Words
 growth which
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 the cons. From my point of view, as time flies there are several scientific breakthroughs in the field of
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
which are widespread and they enhance on
day-to-day
Add an article
a day-to-day
show examples
 basis, resulting
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the rise of lifespan.
This
Linking Words
 strategy is disturbing the death/birth rate ratio, but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 it is increasing the chances to live a longer
life
Use synonyms
.
From
Change preposition
Over
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 the
last
Linking Words
 two decades, there
have
Change the verb form
has
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 been an abrupt change in the advancements of medicines field.
For instance
Linking Words
, we use vitamin supplements to balance our
body
Change noun form
body's
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 nutrient levels, even though we
also
Linking Words
 have the technology of high-profile machinery and
equipment’s
Change noun form
equipment
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 to perform any unembellished surgery which
also
Linking Words
safes
Correct your spelling
saves
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 the
life
Use synonyms
 of patients. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 development in the medical sector
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 serious consequences in the world, as natural
life
Use synonyms
 anticipation is increasing which
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
 a picture
for
Change preposition
of
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 the shortage of basic needs for people like food, shelter and clothes. To illustrate,
according to
Linking Words
 the
last
Linking Words
 surveys, the population is increasing on
Correct article usage
a
show examples
daily basis and for controlling the circle of
life
Use synonyms
 appropriate policies should
be enforce
Change the verb form
be enforced
show examples
 by the state to implement them.
To conclude
Linking Words
, thanks to the enhanced medical facilities
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we now live longer and
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 part of the progress.
This
Linking Words
 enhanced
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy is a blessing for the human race

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • public health
  • medical technology
  • vaccinations
  • antibiotics
  • senior health care
  • geriatric services
  • overpopulation
  • natural resources
  • environmental strain
  • dependency ratio
  • working-age population
  • retirees
  • contribute to society
  • personal goals
  • medical industry
  • economic growth
  • age-related diseases
  • health care costs
  • health care system
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