In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words

The problem of being obese is contributed by advertisement of fast
food
, it should be curtailed;
however
, several people oppose
this
idea and consider that it should not be banned.
Although
some people get lured by the fancy adverts, I believe there is another reason of
this
problem which is discussed ahead. A school of thought believes that junk
food
advertisements should be prohibited because they contribute to obesity as audience gets enticed by them easily. It is argued that companies eager to make profit, they use different strategies to sell their readymade
food
which receive a wide attention from their clients if they broadcast their product through various channels
such
as television, radio and internet. Even though people know deleterious effects of consuming junk
food
, they consume it every day, thereby, becoming fatty.
Hence
, it is considered to be banned by several masses.
However
, advertisement of fast
food
does not contribute to
this
problem. Since there is another factor present which plays more significant role in becoming obese; the whole blame could not be put on companies' adverts.
For example
, the most common reason for gaining weight was the lack of exercise daily, as revealed by a health expert in an interview conducted at The Health Institute of Texas
last
year. It substantiates that these types of advertisement should not be forbidden because it is not the predominant reason of overweight. In conclusion,
while
some societies think that readymade
food
advertisements should be banned as they increase more consumption of fast
food
, leading to obesity, I oppose
this
opinion since routine physical inactivities are responsible for
this
issue.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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task achievement
To improve the essay, you should provide more concrete examples and relevant evidence to support your arguments. This will strengthen your position and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Elaborate on counterarguments and provide more balanced views to show a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in organizing your thoughts and making your argument clear.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with fitting examples and ideas, showing your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The language used is appropriate and the arguments are presented logically, which makes the essay easy to read and understand.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • junk food
  • advertising
  • banning
  • influence
  • dietary habits
  • calories
  • nutrients
  • exposure
  • impressionable
  • lifestyle choices
  • physical activity
  • nutrition education
  • balanced diet
  • freedom of choice
  • market economy
  • informed decisions
  • manipulated
  • advertisements
  • combat obesity
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