IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. What extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money
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Nowadays, it is common to see people living on roads in most parts of the world. Some argue that the best way to help them is by providing them financial support.
However
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, I believe there are other measures that can be taken to make their lives better.
To begin
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 with, homeless people are accompanied by many ex-convicts, while they are on roads.
As a result
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, they fall into bad habits
such
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 as alcoholism and drug use. When they are offered with money, these people tend to spend it on these questionable and illegal habits.
For instance
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, surveys have found that more than 80% of individuals living on roads use drugs regularly.
Hence
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, society should find other ways of helping them
such
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 as providing them a meal or clothes rather than giving cash.
Moreover
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, there are thieves and thugs living on the streets that take the collection form the innocent ones. We cannot guarantee that the donation we provide would end up with betterment for those who needed. There are numerous example of bad people who used poor ones as a bait to collect money for their illegal tasks.
Therefore
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, the money we donate might become the funding for a criminal activity in the our own neighbourhood. In order to save innocent from
this
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, people should build community shelters for those could not afford a roof over them. In conclusion, sometimes the most obvious choice is to give some cash to the homeless.
However
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, we do not usually assume the consequences of that action, which even may lead to more antisocial activities.
Thus
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, as responsible citizens everyone should find alternative methods of supporting those who required it.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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