IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money.

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A considerable proportion of people without a home in society is always an inevitable issue nowadays. Many people believe that the best way to decrease the number of homeless people is to give them
money
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 for survival.
However
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, giving
money
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 is only a temporary
solution
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 and cannot eliminate the issue.
Therefore
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, rather than giving
money
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, I believe that offer an employment opportunity is a better way to help homeless people in the long-term.
To begin
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 with, many people have overlooked the root that causes the issue of people becoming homeless. One of the reasons that results in people becoming homeless is that they do not have a fixed source of income, and
this
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 is often due to their lack of education and skills that enable them to find a job.
Hence
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, providing
money
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 to those homeless people cannot help them to sustain a standard living in the future.
As a result
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, there is a chance that homeless people become struggling to make their ends meet again after they have used all the
money
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, and
this
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 situation would become like a never-ending cycle.
On the other hand
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, there is
also
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 a high probability that homeless people take the
money
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 for granted and ask for more when they do not have any left.
Therefore
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, by giving them
money
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 is not the best
solution
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, but I believe that given in the form of employment would be a better
solution
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. The main reason is that offering job enables homeless people to sustain a constant source of income, and
consequently
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, they can improve their standard of living. In conclusion,
although
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 many people think that the best way to help homeless people in our society is to give them
money
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, I believe that
this
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 act is only a temporary
solution
Use synonyms
. For homeless people to have a better living condition in the long-term, it is better to offer employment, which provides a constant income.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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