Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #experiences #children #school #effect #future #lives #teenagers #influence

It is evident that there are split opinions regarding whether

children

should gain experiences before they go to school,

while

others consider that

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are the greatest influence when they are teenagers. I support the view that the practices gained in an adolescent

life

help people who they are going to be in the future in positive ways. Those who advocate keeping

children

occupied with interactive

games

may argue that it helps

children

not to waste their time playing

games

or watching the TV. To illustrate, nowadays

children

often tend to watch many video entertainment and play unintelligible

games

Hence

parents try to prevent

this

kind of leisure activity from impacting a child's

life

. The benefit of

this

is that the earlier infants learn an additional skill the more likely they are to master it and it brings added cognitive positive aspects.

However

, I would argue that the above upbringing is too strict and might not help all

children

. The best undergoing to have a successful

life

further

is to be in a well-behaved environment.

That is

to say, teenagers know what they need from

life

and can think soberly.

Consequently

, any gained experience will serve in a long-term period.

For instance

, a recent survey by Cambridge University found that real-

life

experiences during adolescence have a bigger influence on people's future lives. In conclusion,

while

others believe that interactive

games

help

children

build meaningful futures, I truly consider that practical knowledge has a major effect on

children

's well-being in the future.

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task somewhat effectively, but there are discrepancies and a lack of depth in the argumentation. More balanced discussion of both views before providing a personal opinion is needed.

task achievement

Work on creating clearer topic sentences and ensure that each paragraph has a single, coherent idea. Introduce your personal opinion more clearly to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across the essay. Additionally, pay attention to paragraph structure, each should logically follow from the one before.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing both views and stating your opinion more explicitly. Ensure the conclusion matches the introduction in presenting the scope of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The two plans show Pancha village in 2005 and 2015. Write a summary of the information. Select and report the main features, and make comparisons when necessary.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are requiered. Discuss both these views and your own opinion.

some people think saving money is good,others think that spending money is a better way to enjoy life.

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.