Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

#people #money #factors #happiness

There is a very popular saying,

Money

can’t buy you

happiness

However

, there are people contradicting

this

view who feel being rich and being happy are directly related. Though

money

may be important, it is not the only means through which one can stay happy. Material

happiness

is often temporary, it is from within that one should feel cherished and lively.

This

feeling often arises once

person

Suggestion

a person

the person

feels satisfied in life. Hunger to run towards

money

will make us run forever in our lives. It is the peace of mind which we should be targeting in order to find actual

happiness

. There are many instances where a director of a big corporate entity always stays frustrated or angry throughout the

day whereas

Accept comma addition

day, whereas

, a normal employee in that same organisation may be happy by being satisfied with whatever he has.

This

may be due to hunger for earning more, which has pressurised the director so much that he forgets the true purpose of earning

money

. Family and friends are

also

important in our lives, without whom we won’t be able to enjoy. The love and affection that the family gives, motivates us to stay

focussed

Suggestion

focused

and tackle any problems which may come in our way.

Also

the support which a true friend can give will be more valuable than any bank balance. There are many instances of rich individuals who even though had lots of

money

but still end up being depressed because they feel lonely without any true friends and family members. Because of

this

state of mind many thinks suicide is the only solution and end their lives. In conclusion, I do feel that the

money

may be important in promoting

happiness

Suggestion

happiness, however,

however

, it is not the only factor. One should be satisfied in life with whatever he has and should never forget that there are other things in life as well like family and friends with whom one can be happy even without too much

money

Submitted by damin.damani34 on Fri Dec 27 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Fully explain your ideas

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