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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

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Although
Linking Words
 paid
work
Use synonyms
 is thought by some to be a useful experience for children, other people consider that it can be detrimental. Children can learn about earning
money
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 and gain independence from doing paid
work
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,
Accept space
,
but there are
also
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 drawbacks which cannot be ignored and has to be taken into account.
Firstly
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, one benefit of children doing paid
work
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 is that they understand the value of
money
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.
This
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also
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 teaches them not to waste
money
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 as they realise the
work
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 needed to earn it.
Secondly
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, having a paid
job
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 is advantageous because children take their
first
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 steps in learning how to manage and save
money
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also
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 Many older children,
for instance
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, have a part time
job
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 in order to save up for something they would
otherwise
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 be unable to afford.
Thirdly
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, working teaches children responsibility and independence. These skills help children to develop into self-supporting adults ready to enter society and the
work
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 force.
Hence
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, The adverse effect when children have a
job
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 is that it potentially exposes them to exploitation through slave labour.
For example
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, in some developing
nations
Suggestion
nation's
 children are made to
work
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 full time but, due to lack of proper laws concerning children's rights they are usually paid negligible wages for tasks that can be tough, manual task.Another possible issue is that the time children spend
job
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 prevents them from focusing on their school chores.Having a good education is the key to a successful future, so being employed as a child can result in a poor academic performance which can be detrimental in the long run. In concluding, while children can benefit from some employment experience
,
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,
meanwhile it's adverse effect cannot be neglected or taken lightly and the biggest disadvantage is that it can lead to exploitation and lower grades at school.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
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