IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Tourists damage many historical places, making them harder to preserve. What are some of the reasons for this? Suggest some ways to resolve this problem.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that there are a lot of tourists who damage historical places.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is a serious problem, I suggest it can be solved by giving proper education to
travellers
Use synonyms
 and expanding the number of
guards
Use synonyms
 on the sites. One of the main reasons is
people
Use synonyms
 get excited when traveling and they tend to forget the importance of the historical significance.
Travellers
Use synonyms
 often outskirt the regulation or put much less caution and care.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 sometimes go into the area to take some photos or selfies where it is prohibited to enter even if there is a sign. The second reason for
that is
Linking Words
 the lack of responsibility for preserving the archaic stuff. They might not have learned of history or cannot remember since they were not interested in the historical subject.
However
Linking Words
, there are solutions to
this
Linking Words
 problem. One is increasing the number of
guards
Use synonyms
 to physically protect.
Guards
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 inform
people
Use synonyms
 whether they can intake food in some specific area or let them know where the trash can is. It will significantly lower the rate of damage and make
people
Use synonyms
 more cautious. On top of that, organizing comprehensive educational programs for tourists right just before entering and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consistent audio broadcasting during the sightseeing are needed. After building a sense of responsibility,
travellers
Use synonyms
 will be less likely to commit violations.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 a lot of historical sights are still struggling with damage issues from
travellers
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that focusing on the number of
guards
Use synonyms
 and extra education programs could be a key to solving
this
Linking Words
 problem.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Add more specific examples to illustrate points. For instance, mention particular historical sites known for tourist damage.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Although the essay is generally cohesive, linking phrases or sentences between the introduction, body, and conclusion could enhance flow.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies two key reasons for tourist damage to historical sites and proposes two corresponding solutions.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay well.
coherence cohesion
Points are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a specific reason or solution.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: