IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006.

The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006.
#sales #kinds #games
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart illustrates four different types of digital
games
Use synonyms
 being sold globally between 2000 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most popular digital
games
Use synonyms
 during the period given
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 handheld
games
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there were two types of digital
games
Use synonyms
 that had a significant rise until the final
years
Use synonyms
, namely mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
 and online
games
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, console
games
Use synonyms
 had a decrease in global
sales
Use synonyms
 over the
years
Use synonyms
. Handheld
games
Use synonyms
 global
sales
Use synonyms
 started from just below 12
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 increased steadily to almost 18
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
Whereas
Linking Words
 console
games
Use synonyms
 that appeared in the same year only had half of the handheld
Use synonyms
games
Change noun form
games'
game's
show examples
 global
sales
Use synonyms
 and had a fall to around 3
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in six
years
Use synonyms
. There was a sharp rise in online
Use synonyms
games
Change noun form
games'
game's
show examples
 popularity as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 only started to appear in 2001
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
then
Linking Words
 being the
second
Linking Words
 most popular digital game in 2006 with about 9
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
global
Change preposition
in global
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
. The same figure happened to mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
 which appeared in 2002 and had a rise to just above 6
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 during only five
years
Use synonyms
 of time span.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words games, years, sales, billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: