IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#parents #children #computers #tablets #technology #skills #development
Today’s children are spending too much time on using the technological devices. Many parents think that children should be allowed to play on computer, smart phones, and tablet is because that
this
 is beneficial for the children to improve their technology skills.
This
 essay will discuss why
this
 idea has more downside effects on children
then
 its benefits. The primary argument supporting
this
 idea is that people think that the technology skills are important for their children’s future. In
this
 era, the world is becoming more to rely on the technology. Countries and individuals are maintaining their existence because of the technological developments. The result of
this
 is that people think these skills offer their children to find a job more easily in the future.
However
, it must be said that there are several harmful effects on the development of children. The major one is that lack of social skills may develop in children. They are spending more time online communication than that in person.
This
 is because, they cannot make friends in the real life and even they cannot continue the friendships that already have.
Secondly
,
this
 lifestyle may cause the children to be depressed and alienated because of lack of real relationships in the real world. The result of
this
 might be that increasing of committing suicide among children, and even growth in the crime rates in many countries. Another one, these children are not aware of the real life and the responsibilities they have. They think that the real world is easy to live, and they will always maintain
this
 lifestyle as in their children times. In conclusion, using of technological devices among children has benefits for their future life,
however
, I think that
this
 approach can be much more harmful for the children and has more disadvantages than its advantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: