IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should spend on public services such as healthcare and education rather than art like painting, and drawing. To what extent do you agree or agree?

Some
people
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 believe that governments should spend money on public
services
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such
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 as
healthcare
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 and
education
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instead
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 of supporting
art
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 forms like painting and drawing. I agree with
this
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 view to a large extent,
although
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 I think that
art
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 should not be completely ignored. On the one hand,
healthcare
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 and
education
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 are essential for the well-being and development of a country. Governments have a responsibility to provide good medical
services
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 so that
people
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 can live healthy lives. When citizens are healthy, they can work more effectively and contribute to the economy. In the same way,
education
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 is vital because it helps
people
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 gain
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
 and skills needed for employment. Without proper investment in schools and hospitals, a country cannot develop successfully.
On the other hand
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,
art
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also
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 plays an important role in society.
Art
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 helps
people
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 express emotions and ideas, and it can improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life.
In addition
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,
art
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 and culture can attract tourists and create jobs.
However
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, compared to
healthcare
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 and
education
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,
art
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 is not a basic need.
People
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 can survive without
art
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, but they cannot live well without good health
services
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 or
education
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. In my opinion, governments should give priority to
healthcare
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 and
education
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 in their budgets. Most public money should be spent on these essential
services
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,
while
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 a smaller amount can be used to support
art
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 and cultural activities. In conclusion, I largely agree that government spending should focus more on
healthcare
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 and
education
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 than on
art
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.
Nevertheless
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, some funding for
art
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 is still necessary to create a balanced society.

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focus
Add a short opening that states your view and a short ending that restates it clearly.
support
Give one or two real facts or clear examples to back up your point.
structure
Use simple linking words like and, but, also, first, then, so to show how ideas connect.
strength
Clear view on the topic.
structure
Good use of paragraphs to separate ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • fundamental need
  • quality healthcare
  • productive society
  • economic opportunities
  • educational opportunities
  • socio-economic status
  • cultural expression
  • budget constraints
  • future prospects
  • creativity and innovation
  • cultural heritage
  • balanced approach
  • pragmatic solution
  • thriving arts sector
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