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Band 6.5

In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#cultures #age #youth
People have different views about the values of the elderly youngsters. Personally, I believe that both of them should be valued equally, since they all significantly contribute to the community and
country
Suggestion
the country
 as a whole. On the one hand, the seniority is mostly appreciated for their abundance of knowledge and wisdom. They are well-experienced and mature, so
young
Suggestion
younger
 generation
tend
Suggestion
tends
 to gain life lessons from their grandparents or great-grandparents.
Furthermore
, it is obvious that the old keeps a huge number of valuable customs and traditions,
therefor
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
therefore
, they can be considered to play a key role in preserving and upholding cultural identity. Another key point is that many aged citizens used to devote their lifetime to later generations.
For instance
, we often see senior people worked as soldiers, doctors or firefighters when they were young.
On the other hand
, some countries put a great deal of emphasis on young people because of their energy and activeness. Compared to the old, teenagers are more enthusiastic and more willing to take risks.
Accordingly
, many of them have become great leaders and led the countries to a brighter future through their talents.
Besides
, in
this
 modern era, some hi-tech fields
such
 as Computer Science or Information Technology are becoming popular, and youngsters are the ones who can develop and boost the economy of a nation by learning about these majors.
Finally
, these days, young citizens seem to be financially comfortable and
therefore
 engaging voluntary work for the sake of the whole community. In conclusion, due to the aforementioned ground, I strongly believe that the youth and the old should be respected equally as both generations have brought a number of dedications and abilities to the development of the society and the nation.
Submitted by lonettewaston0107 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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