IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Universities should be concerned with educating people so that they have wide general knowledge and be able to , consider important matters from an informed viewpoint, and not simply prepare students for jobs required by society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#universities #people #matters #students #jobs #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I would like to extend my support to the statement that Universities should be educating people in
such
 a
way
 that the
students
 can be aware of the
world
 around them.
instead
 of simply preparing them for jobs required by society. The reason being I myself have been subjected to
such
 a
way
 of teaching during my
under graduate
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
show examples
. I was learning a of subjects that were relevant to my course structure but completely irrelevant to the outside market. And I was able to realise that only after joining a profession. The four years that we toil in the university
literllay
Correct your spelling
literally
 boils down to the graduate certificate that serves only as a document to fulfil the application criteria.
Its
Correct your spelling
It is
show examples
 the
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of the University to train their
students
 in
such
 a
way
 that
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 not only understand the concepts but
also
 find a practical use to all that they learnt in the classes. The universities should invite marker professionals to conduct guest lectures to the
students
 on the projects and job markets in the respective
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
. Lack of general knowledge would put the
students
 in an
awkard
Correct your spelling
awkward
 position when they face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers who expect the
students
 to be up to date with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all the information from around the
world
.
Moreover
, learning about
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 developments and happenings across the
world
 would make the
students
 more confident and
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 them with global exposure. There was a youtube post in relation to the recent CAA and NRC protests across the country where the
youtuber
Correct your spelling
YouTuber
 asked a couple of college
students
 protesting from a National University
rasing
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
 repeated slogans in
chorus
Add an article
the chorus
show examples
 against the ruling party for passing the CAA bill, they replied that they joined their fellow
students
 in the rally just as an excuse to bunk classes and the worst part was they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 even know what really is meant
bt
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 the CAA and NRC.
This
 incident not only brings
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sympathy
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 those
students
 but
also
 a fear.I said fear because of the consequences of
negligence
Add an article
the negligence
show examples
 of
such
students
 in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 biggest democracy like India.
Hence
, I would like
to conclude
 that
in addition
 to the
self awareness
Add a hyphen
self-awareness
show examples
 of the
students
, the universities along the Educational Ministry should alter the syllabus for the
students
 in
such
 a
way
 that they could develop an awareness before stepping into the real
world
 from college.
Submitted by chaikz1994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • critical thinking
  • informed decision-making
  • wide general knowledge
  • job-specific skills
  • adaptability
  • constantly changing job market
  • engage with societal issues
  • global challenges
  • responsible and informed citizens
  • holistic educational approach
  • narrow focus
  • personal and professional life
  • drawbacks
  • prioritizing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: