Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody. Regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an early age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit

Recently, the debate on the legalised

retirement

age

has become heated. As far as I am concerned, I agree that it's unfair for the whole society to have the same

age

to retire.

Firstly

, some occupations deserves to early

retirement

due to their working intense. Because some of the workers might need to work all day and all night, for examples, cleaners and the workers on the constructive site,

therefore

, their body might be overloaded at a relatively younger

age

than the

retirement

age

As a result

, their body mechanism might become weaker with a faster rate. Their productivity might

therefore

become less favourable when they are working at an

age

closing to the

retirement

age

Therefore

, they should enjoy early

retirement

due to the body quality.

Secondly

, some jobs need to be up-to-date. It's a wild spread knowledge that it might be harder for us to absorb new stuffs when we are getting older.

Therefore

, for some job opportunities in creative industries like designers, it might be tough for them to keep designing the latest trendy products.

Besides

because of the advanced technology, some technological related job might

also

suffer the problem of being outdated.

For example

, the inventors might not able to go with the same pace as the booming technology.

As a result

, these employees in the trendy related industries should be able to enjoy the earlier

entirement

a device that requires skill for proper use

instrument

age

. To summarise, it might be unfair for the whole society to have the same

retirement

age

, as some of the workers who provide a lot of labour force might be overloaded at a relatively young

age

and some workers who need to always be up-to-date might

also

be tough when they reach the

retirement

age

Therefore

, after analyse

this

issue, I think the trend for having different

retirement

age

might be prevailed in the future.

Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on Tue Dec 31 2019

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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