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Band 7

The increasing use of credit cards has led to a rise in personal dept. Some people argue that this is a problem that needs to be addressed, while others argue that it is a necessary part of modern life. Discuss both sides of this argument and give your own opinion.

#credit #cards #rise #dept #people #part #life #argument
An argument has arisen between two views, the first one believes that using
credit
cards
 is a huge issue that should be solved,
while
 the second view objects to that. In
this
 report, I will go through both sides of
this
 conflict, and
then
 allow me
to conclude
 my point of view. Using
credit
cards
 is easy, international, beneficial, strategic, and helpful;
as a consequence
, it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 the main way of paying. For
further
 explanation, many online stores acknowledge that it is a helpful method to make sure that their customers will not escape after buying expensive products.
Also
, nowadays, many people buy from a variety of countries, so it is extremely difficult to use cash
instead
 of
credit
cards
.
Besides
 that, the way of spending money completely depends on the person;
as a result
, it is not an ideal solution to prevent
this
 suitable method.
Although
 the points mentioned above are influencing, there are reverse points that hold equal influence.
To begin
 with, paying with modern technologies is money-consuming, useless, and unnecessary. To illustrate that, many studies compared the amount of money that was consumed when the person used cash and
credit
cards
, and they discovered that the majority of humans spend more money
while
 using their
credit
cards
;
as a result
, many scientists said that it is essential to stop using
such
 technology.
Additionally
, many people share on Twitter that they have various options compared to the limited choices in their region;
therefore
, they tend to buy more than they need. In conclusion, even though using
credit
cards
 is easy, comfortable, and strategic, it holds a lot of demerits and has affected humans' habits in shopping.
However
, I completely agree with the first view.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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examples
Try to include more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This could add depth to your essay and make your points more persuasive.
balance
Consider introducing a more balanced view by discussing the advantages and disadvantages in a way that provides equal weight to both sides of the argument before expressing your opinion.
introduction
Pay attention to your opening statement. Starting with 'An argument has arisen' is interesting but could be more directly related to the topic for immediate engagement.
spelling
Be cautious with the spelling of 'debt' instead of 'dept' to ensure accuracy in your essay.
structure
Your essay follows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
introduction and conclusion
You have successfully provided an introduction and conclusion that frame your essay effectively.
task response
The essay addresses the task with a complete response and presents your standpoint clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal debt
  • high-interest rates
  • easy access to credit
  • impulsive spending habits
  • financial mismanagement
  • financial stress
  • overall quality of life
  • essential part of modern financial systems
  • convenience and security for transactions
  • reward points
  • cashback
  • fraud protection
  • financial literacy
  • responsible credit usage
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