IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

As international travel becomes cheaper, more and more countries are opening their doors to an increasing number of tourists. Do you think the advantages of increased tourism to these countries outweigh the disadvantages?

#travel #countries #doors #tourists #tourism
With the advancement of
transportation system
Suggestion
the transportation system
, especially air travel, people can now go to
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 countries for business, educational and medical purposes. Many countries open their door to attract more
tourism
 by making international travel more cheaper. I will discuss both boon and bane of
tourism
 in the subsequent paragraph. There are multifarious pros of
tourism
.
To begin
 with, people like to go a
country
 where medical treatment is better than his own
country
.
For instance
, a large number of people visit
developed
Suggestion
developing
 countries in each and every year for better medical facilities and
this
 is a positive development that ensure healthcare for many human beings.
Moreover
,
mostly
Suggestion
most
 businessmen executives are
set
Suggestion
Set
 up their own business branches in
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 nations.
As a result
, it creates the better relationship among states to reduce the gap between developed and developing countries.
In addition
, with the help of globalization, more working opportunities are available for individuals which are very useful for diminishing the unemployment rate and poverty in the
country
.
Furthermore
, by increasing international
tourism
 industry, people can get the chance to know about the foreign culture and it is very important to maintain the world peace environment.
Last
 but not least,
tourism
 income may help to conserve the natural landscape, wildlife and cultural heritage. Without financial support, the scenic spot will be disrupted and faded away.
On the other hand
, air travel plays an important
role but
Accept comma addition
role, but
 the negative side of
tourism
can not
can not
cannot
 be neglected.
Firstly
, tourists do not follow the rules of
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 nations and throw the garbage on roads which increases the many environmental problems.
Secondly
, educational and medical sector
are
Suggestion
is also neglected
also
 neglected by government by
doing
the act that results in something coming to be
making
 more investment on historical places to attract more tourists in their own
country
. To sum up, many countries
are rely
Suggestion
rely
 on
tourism
 industry. Meanwhile, though the pros clearly outweigh the cons. The limitations of
tourism
 should be handled by taking efforts by government and individuals mutually. By doing so,
tourism
 would be
developing
Suggestion
developed
 in
an
Suggestion
a
 healthier way.
Submitted by Arshdeep on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ Β»β€” a book that's free for πŸš€ Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • local businesses
  • job creation
  • cultural understanding
  • stereotypes
  • global connections
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • deforestation
  • wildlife habitats
  • commercialization
  • cultural identity
  • overcrowding
  • quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: