IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses as rates of obesity are getting higher and higher.To what extent do you agree?

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Obesity is becoming a pressing problem in many areas of the world. According to some, sport ought
to be teach
Suggestion
to teach
 as a compulsory subject in all streams of tertiary
education
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. In my opinion, the trend will have many positive outcomes since it will make youngsters aware about sport’s benefits and save national wealth from
health
Use synonyms
 awareness programs. The lack of
health
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education
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 among individuals is a prominent reason
of
Suggestion
for
 overweight population. Due to
this
Linking Words
, they are
inclining
Suggestion
inclined
 towards the high calorie foods and neglecting physical exercise. Having a mandatory subject ‘Sport’ in
university curriculum
Suggestion
university curricula
the university curriculum
, the youngsters will get to know about how physical activities make us fit and keep our body away from several diseases
such
Linking Words
 as hypertension, stress.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will develop a sense of healthy life among readers and encourage them to devote some time to sports from their daily routine. Every years the governments spend a spending of
billions
Suggestion
billion
 dollars in imparting
health
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 among
people
Suggestion
the people
. Teaching sports as a part of
education
Use synonyms
 will help youngsters in learning healthy lessons and
importance
Suggestion
the importance
 of sports in human life.
This
Linking Words
 will reduce the marketing of
health
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 campaign to a large extent and the government can use
this
Linking Words
 segment of
money in
Accept comma addition
money, in
 other domains like
education
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, public transportation and saving environment that make a nation economically prosperous. In conclusion, I believe that the compulsion of sport subject in university curriculum is
impressive step
Suggestion
an impressive step
 to
rise
raise the level or amount of something
raise
health
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 awareness among people and saving national’s wealth from
health
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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